I don't want to lose you
by isheebishee
Summary: Is there someone actually worse than House?...read and find out. Chapter 42 is up and there is alot of drama!
1. Beginning

**I Don't Want To Lose You…**

She looked out the window with one more glance back at their small comfortable home that she had remembered so many great times with her mother, the fights they had gotten into and all the times they had laughed at the small things in life.

Her memories brought her back to the when she was five. She was sitting in the musty gold couch that she remembered them always having, the one that sunk in, in the middle, the springs sticking out into your back; yet it had always been the most comfy couch ever. She was looking at pictures of herself and her mother, when she was born. She flipped through the pictures in the album studying each picture carefully with a look of concern and concentration. When she had looked through all the pictures, she looked puzzled down at the book and closed it, holding it tightly in between her hands. She finally looked up to her mom who had been cooking furiously in the kitchen for a special dinner when she realized what it was she had wanted to ask.

"Mommy, where is daddy?"

Her mother looked down at the food that she was stirring and back up to her daughter. She had waited a long time for her to ask about this, and now she finally had. She hadn't a clue how she would answer her, and now that's he had to she just said, "We lost your daddy a very long time ago sweetie, don't worry about it." She felt her eyes well up with tears and her heartbreak for telling her daughter a lie.

But then again everyone lies.

She jumped back into reality with a load noise that suddenly filled the ambulance, the screen showed a line, a line that went straight across and spread panic across her face. Reality was starting to sink in that something was seriously wrong; she knew that when her mom had told her she had cancer, but she never really pictured her ever leaving her…at least not so soon.

She saw her body move under the powerful shocks, seeing the paramedics work quickly to find out how they could fix her.

She felt the tears start to fall from her eyes as she ran to hold her mothers hand and they had held her back from her. She then realized how bad it was.

She held her eyes closed and let the tears run down her cheeks, staining them. She thought back to when she was eight. Her mom and her had always gone for walks around the block; she held her hand tightly in hers. Her small hand placed in hers. These men stopped them, men in uniform, the police. She knew now what her mom was into and didn't really want to look back to those times. But when she opened her eyes and looked down at her mom small and fragile she knew that it would always stare her straight in the face, she had done it until she was diagnosed with cancer, that's what it took to finally stop her.

Her heart raced as they opened the doors and the paramedics, bringing her into the ER, wheeled her mother onto the ground.

She starred on and didn't dare interfere with the doctors doing their jobs. She stood and starred at the doors that swung shut leaving her shut out from all that was going on.

She sat in a chair and starred into space for a good fifteen minutes before she hung her head low, holding it in the palm of her hands that rested on her knees. She let her dark brown hair hang over her face and down over her shoulders. Her small frame shook as she tried to hold herself together, not wanting anyone to see her in this state.

She sniffed and her body shuddered as she tried to suppress another breakdown. Everything will be ok she told herself.

**But everyone lies.**


	2. Brief Encounter

I Don't Want to Lose You …

A man dressed in scrubs approached her cautiously. She looked up and saw the man smiling, a good sign, it meant she was ok. He held out his hand to shake hers he introduced himself as Dr. James Wilson. He seemed nice enough.

He continued to rattle out information as she stared blankly down at the floor. None of the things that he was telling her were important, at least not to her. The only thing that mattered was if her mom was going to be ok.

He told her she could go in to see her, but not to expect too much. She thought about what he said. She never really had expected much from her mom. She was there, and she was someone she could talk to, but she was more of a friend than a mother. She remembered her past birthday, her sixteenth, the one that was supposed to be special. They had all the plans ready, they had invited all her friends, but when it had finally come, her mom was nowhere to be found. It broke her heart…she said she would be there.

She walked past an older man who stood with a cane, bumping up against him, almost certain to knock him over. "Sorry…" She whispered and kept walking until she stood in the doorway of her mother's room. She stopped and caught her breath; feeling like it had all been taken from her. She held her hand over her mouth, as she looked down at her mother, now the weak women that she truly was in the inside, and it scared her to death.

She looked out of the room and saw Dr. James Wilson talking to the man she had nearly knocked down. She hoped they weren't discussing what she had done.

She laid her head down on her mother's chest and closed her eyes to try and block out everything that had happened. Of course she couldn't, it was there to stay. The memories of this day would be etched in her mind for years to come. She didn't really want to forget this day, especially if it would be her last day. Especially if she was going to lose her.

As soon as she had closed her eyes and laid her head down on her mother, James Wilson and his good friend Gregory House turned their way, looking down at the women that lay on the bed.

House starred at the lady who looked so small against the vast sheets with a look that made James Wilson question him.

"What you know her?" He asked, not so surprised if he did, House knew almost everyone from all the times he had hung out around the bars.

"No. Why would I know her?" He asked in a monotone voice that showed no emotion what so ever. Something that Greg House had perfected.

House looked back once more now looking at the girl laying her head on the mother's chest.

He walked away without another word, thinking about how he could confront her once again after what he had done. She had told him she wasn't pregnant so that girl couldn't be who he thought it could be. Or could it.

Because even Gregory House knows that everyone lies.


	3. Someone else

I Don't Want To Lose You…

House sat behind his desk twirling his cane, and rubbing his forehead with the other as if deep in thought, when Stacy burst into his office.

"Did you know that whore was here all along and not bother to tell me." She blurted out, causing House to look up at her in surprise, something Gregory House was not used of being.

She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room, to the machines hooked into her mother that were still beeping the way they were before, to her mom with her eyes closed laying in front of her.

She stood up and grabbed her bag, she had to get something to eat or she would waste away to nothing. Holding back the tears that were threatening to fall she ran from the room to get away from it all, to get away from the misery and pain that lingered in the Hospital walls that crept into her mind wherever she went.

"Now what good would that have done?" House asked dryly, looking Stacy in the eyes now, daring her to say something else. She walked out of the room and walked quickly to the very room she had been avoiding all day.

She starred into the room and saw her sitting there. She thought back to when her and Greg were together; it brought back all the memories of pain, love, anger and guilt. She looked at the women that she once despised and didn't know how she could even think the things she was thinking. She couldn't wait till she died, and she knew just the thought of that was wrong, but what that women did was despicable.

She could see the door opened so she thought, 'why not surprise him'. She crept up quietly to the door and threw it open, just to freeze in her tracks with her mouth wide open, staring at the both of them in bed together. They were just lying there, but that was all she needed to see. Her boyfriend and a total stranger in bed together. The b!tch probably knew that he had a girlfriend the whole time, but didn't have enough morals to know better. She could feel her heart break into a thousand pieces, as she ran from the room and out of his apartment. She could feel the pain he must have felt when she had done what she did to him, and it did hurt.

She snapped back to reality and shook her head, trying to get all the thoughts that were running through her head to go away, then walked away down the hall her heels clicking loudly the whole way.

He leaned heavily down on his cane as he stood in the doorway, waiting for the right time to go in. He took a deep breath and limped inside, sitting down on the chair that sat beside her bed.

He touched her hand softly thinking of the time he had spent with her. All the times he had went away with her. She was the only woman that made him feel the way she did. Even when he was with Stacy, he knew he loved her, but he knew he loved Kyra a lot more. What he felt when he was with her was a sense that she didn't care what he did wrong, she didn't mind his snide remarks, in fact she could come back at him just as could as he had came at her. The love he felt from her was unbelievable. And then he had gone and get caught; it wasn't much of a shock. He had expected it. It was the perfect revenge for her taking away his leg.

The only problem to his plan was what he did to Kyra at the same time. She thought that him and her were in a meaningful relationship, and not that she was just something that he could have on the side. Her feelings were hurt just as bad as Stacy's. She had no idea that he was seeing someone else.


	4. Goodbye

I Don't Want To Lose You…

She woke up to the bright sun peeking through the cracks of the blinds. She could feel the heat warm her cheeks. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes and her messy dark hair from her face she sat up in the bed. She looked around frantically, not knowing where it was she had fallen asleep.

Suddenly it dawned on her. She was at 'his' house. The boy, or should she say man that she had loved all her life. He was 20, had a masculine build and had dark brown eyes; in one word he was gorgeous.

The events of he night before came flooding back. She remembered sitting at a small café drinking a strong coffee when she had broke down and needed someone to be with. So knowing she had no one else in her life she went to Gary.

Frantically knocking on his door, she looked around into the dark seeing shadows and dark figures that had made her nervous. She had been nervous ever since her mom had told her what had happened to her. Her mom had many things happen to her, but that certain story sent chills down her spine.

He opened the door and she fell into his arms letting everything that she was holding inside out. Her body shook in his arms as he led her into his apartment and sat her down on the couch. He gently rubbed her back and shushed her, until she had calmed down and told him everything that had been going on with her. And when she had fallen asleep he had laid her down in bed and fallen asleep with his arms wrapped tightly around her in a protective position.

She smiled at the thought of the night before and how well he had taken care of her. How well he had comforted her when she had needed him the most. He really was the perfect boyfriend she had imagined having.

He hesitated at the entrance of the hospital and walked in slowly. He walked up the floor he knew she was on. He stopped at the end of the hall, and then continued to walk closer to her room. He opened the door and sat down in the chair he had sat down in the previous night.

He looked down at her, and took in her beauty, even as she lie there dying she seemed to bask in a glowing beauty. He took her hand in his and ran his thumb over her soft tanned hand. She stirred and opened her eyes a crack to look up at the man before her. Even after the time they had spent apart, the pain he had put her through she smiled and opened her eyes wider to get a better look at the handsome mug he still had.

"Greg.." she whispered softly trying to sit up in her bed. "Shhh, sit back you've got to save your strength." She laughed slightly to herself, "What for, I'm dying Greg and…" She trailed off looking out the window; it had started to rain.

She stopped in her tracks as the rain started to pound down all around her and streamed down over her soft skin. She looked up and put up her arms letting it fall over her.

"She's mine isn't she?" he said softly. It was the gentle side that no one had ever seen from Greg House. The side you never truly expected to see.

"Yeah…and you'll love her." She let the words slur out from her mouth as she let her eyes close, and House saw the machines start to go nuts. What it said was that she was already dead, that she was gone. But he had called everyone in there and worked frantically to try and save her, to try and save the one person that truly owned a piece of his heart.

She ran through the hospital with her hood hanging over her eyes and she came to a halt sliding on the floor by her mom's room. She held her hand to the glass of the room and let her headrest on the door.

She slid down to the floor beside her mom's room and leaned her back against the wall, pulling her hood down further over her face, hiding the tears that spilled over her eyes. She tugged on her hair that fell over her face when she heard the door open and the beeping of the machines go away.


	5. Thanks

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU

She could feel her stomach drop and her heart jump into her throat as she closed her eyes and let her eye lids close heavily and the tears stream down from underneath them.

A hand stretched out in front of her eyes to help her onto her feet, but as soon as she recognized it as the man who had come from her mother's room, the one who let her die, she quickly propped herself up and strode down the hallway with her hands wiping furiously at the tears that spilled from her eyes.

She left a confused House standing in the hallway mumbling to himself that 'he knew she wouldn't accept him anyways'. His face showed it all, all the emotions that he had kept locked inside and had covered with sarcasm for many years. His face showed remorse and he had no way of covering it.

She sat in a waiting room chair. The ones that she had sat in many times waiting for the right time to go in and see her mother…she wanted to catch her when she awake, not when she was tired and she could wake her.

Her eyes trailed down to the duffel bag that was packed and ready at her feet. It was filled with her mothers belongings; all the things that she had wanted at the hospital with her. She remembered packing the picture that her mother had always loved the most. It was the one that she had always loved too.

She remembered the night that picture was taken perfectly. She had missed her birthday, and she was sitting on the couch crying to herself that she hadn't showed up, when just then she had come through the door and decided they should go to the beach. It was late when they went, the moon was full and the sky was black, but the stars shone brightly and lit up the dark sky. They had sat and starred at the stars for a long time, talking about whatever mother and daughter talked about. They had finished off the night going swimming. The water felt unbelievably warm against her skin that had just been out in the cold air. She could still smell the salt that lingered in their hair, feel the touch of her arm wrapped around her, and the feeling of the kiss that she placed on her forehead when they had said their goodnights.

The picture was of the both of them standing with the wind blowing through their hair. They looked childish wrapped up in their Scooby Doo towels and more like sisters than mother and daughter. They both had the same slender figures, the same dark brown hair and the same perfectly pouty lips. They were gorgeous to say the least. It was her favorite day, and her favorite picture, and what made it so perfect was the engraving in the bottom of the frame that read 'best friends'.

She shook her head coming back into reality and letting all the feelings of that day wash away. She looked up to see Dr. James Wilson standing in front of her.

"Thanks for calling Child Services…" She said rather numbly looking down at her hands that were fumbling with a piece of paper.

"Sorry I"- "No!" She interrupted him. "I didn't mean to sound rude, I actually do want to thank you, or else I would have nowhere else to go, I don't have anyone else." She looked away trying to hide the tears that were building up in her eyes.

Dr. Wilson wished her the best and made his way back to whatever he did. His life went back to normal, and her whole life was about to change drastically.


	6. Home but not a house

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU

She picked out all the essentials that she thought she would need. A toothbrush, hairbrush, shampoo, pictures of her mother, and all her clothes that she could possibly fit into her bag.

She looked around her small house one more time, going through every room, the memories flooding through her mind. She breathed in deeply, inhaling the aroma of cigarettes doused in a fruity perfume. She didn't mind the smell, she had gotten quite used to it over the years and now she really didn't want to leave it. It was the smell of her. She would come in at night after smoking a few cigarettes out on the porch, and spray perfume around to try and get rid of the smell, so guests wouldn't notice. She would come into her room and hug her tightly before going off to bed, leaving the smell stuck on her clothes for the rest of the night.

She lay down on the stiff bed. Another thing that's he would miss was her soft comfy bed. It was the one with the purple covers and the canopy that protected her at night.

She would miss the privacy of being able to listen to her music as loudly as she had licked. At home she had, had her own room, with no interruptions, no one checking on her every 30 minutes, and at home she simply felt closer to her mom. But it wouldn't be like that anymore. She couldn't dwell on the past even if it was what she wanted to do most of all. She had to get out and start a future for herself.

She wondered about her father. Her mother had always told her that they had lost him a very long time ago, and to just not worry about it. But she knew he was alive, and that she had just not wanted to upset her, because it had upset her as well.

What was she supposed to really think of her father? She couldn't possibly think that he was some amazing guy. He couldn't be, no amazing person would leave their daughter to rot in a foster home when they could have taken them in their selves. Whoever they were, they were selfish.

He held his hand out to her and she grabbed it, holding her hand in his for a long time before she finally stood to face him. She wasn't as tall as him so she made it to about his chest. She pulled down her hood a revealed a face that looked identical to Kyra. He stepped back and let go of her had as she looked up at his with her glassy blue eyes.

He turned his body from her and started to walk down the hall to the clinic. She followed him and grabbed his shoulder spinning him around, revealing herself as a pale white ghost, with dark bags shadowed underneath her eyes and tubes sticking from her tiny arms.

He dropped his came and began to limp towards the clinic faster and faster until he made it to exam room two, where he closed the door and placed a chair in front of it. He turned around and he was standing in the morgue, where on a metal slab laid Kyra.

He opened his eyes and blinked away the tears that were forming in his eyes, and then mumbled to himself. "What a nightmare, I would NEVER be in the clinic."

Today was the day. They day she would be gone for good and never be coming back. The day that she would be placed into the ground.

She slipped out of her bed and put the covers back in place. She stepped quietly to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She looked hesitantly into the mirror and touched her cheeks gently, seeing that they were pale from all the days At he foster home now. She noticed the dark bags that made her eyes fall deep into her face, and the red rims that outlined her eyes. She was going to die here if she stayed any longer…she needed out.


	7. run away from your fears

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…**

Dark blood left the open wound and the razor was set back in place. Dragging back across the soft skin that ripped easily, leaving a trail of blood droplets to settle on the top. Her head lurched forward and her stomach emptied everything that she had ate from the previous night into the toilet bowl sitting in front of her.

She spun the razor around in her fingers, fumbling with it for what seemed like an eternity. She placed it back at the top of her wrist, and jerked it down under the skin creating a new wound for her to memorize later on, for her to remember exactly how she had felt in this moment in time. She dared herself to drag it harder, for her to be able to bring herself to the full extent of what she was thinking. 'Push harder, push harder.' She thought as she sunk it into her skin, and felt her energy fall from her and her hand stop from pushing and start to shake.

He stood and smoothed out the black dress shirt her was wearing, making sure he looked perfect. He tied his shoes tight and looked in the mirror at his gruff face, before deciding to shave.

She stood at the sink and let some of the blood droplets hit the porcelain. Drip, splash, drip splash; she watched them fall until she decided she had let it go on for long enough and that she had let misery take over her for all that it could for this morning. Now it was time to grieve for her mother and put on a brave face…even if it seemed impossible.

She wound the white gauze tightly around her small bony wrist, trying her best for none of the blood to seep out from underneath. Her black long sleeved button up shirt would surely do the trick in hiding everything from prying eyes. One leg after another she stepped into her black dress pants and then slipped each foot into a pair of black sneakers. Good for running from your troubles.

It was a sunny day; the rain didn't fall to the occasion like it should have. The rain usually symbolized something as sad as today, it would show you how to be miserable like it was. It showed you how to let your tears fall like it let its droplets fall. She wished it had rained.

She stared up at the women speaking, the light breeze blowing in her sunny blonde hair. The Lipstick on her lips shining like she had just applied a new coat, and the sparkle in her eyes that showed not one thing of remorse. She said that she was her best friend; she knew that wasn't true, she was her best friend. And this lady was a sore excuse of a human being pretending to be someone who cared. She didn't care, she was there for the finger sandwiches and the beverages that came afterward. But she cared, she cared with all her heart, that's why she cut herself, so that maybe she could feel just one ounce of the pain that she knows she should be feeling, because her mother is gone and she is still here.

She stands and rests her eyes onto the audience before her. The people that came to grieve for her, and watch her be put into the ground forever. She hesitates a moment before she speaks, taking in a prolonged breathe of fresh air and she starts. She opens her mouth and tells her she loved her, but nothing else comes out, because when she looks into the audience she sees them staring back at her waiting for some moving speech she has to say; she doesn't need to tell them. The only one she wants to tell is her, and she is gone. So what is the point?

She looks at her surroundings one last time before she bows her head and runs towards the parking lot, with tears streaming down her face. She sits on the curb and puts her head in her hands and takes labored breaths as she tried to regain her strength.


	8. Are you ready?

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…**

He sat in the small chair with his cane in hand and stared at the girl, Kay, who was running away from everything looking spiritless. He stood and followed close behind before he saw her sit on a curb and start to sob in her hands.

She pulled back the sleeves that covered over the thick white gauze. It had started to seep through in small spots. "You might want to get that looked at…"

She turned around and quickly pulled the sleeve back to cover it up. When he sat down beside her she moved over slightly and grabbed her wrist in her hand, protecting herself from prying eyes.

He grabbed her wrist and held it in the palm of his hand, ignoring the aggravation that crossed over her face, and the way she was trying to tug her wrist back out of his hand so that he wouldn't be able to see what she had done to herself.

He ran his hand slowly over it and proceeded to open the gauze. "Don't!" She looked straight into his icy blue eyes, with her piercing crystal blue ones and dared him to open it further. He looked down and back up at her, not once letting his grip loosen from her wrist. "Why did you do it?"

Tears danced over her eyes as she started to speak, "Why do you think?" she said through gritted teeth. She put her hand on his chest and tried to push away, but couldn't get loose. " Because I have nowhere to go, and my _DADDY_ who is actually alive must not think that I am his responsibility!" She glared at him knowing exactly who he was.

"I'm ready now…" He said in a soft voice letting her wrist fall back down into her own lap. "You only ready after 16 years?" She mumbled looking down at her hands and playing with the gauze that was pulling off.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do…" He trailed off letting her figure out what to say next. Instead she decided to say nothing at all, and let her head fall onto his chest, letting the beating of his heart calm her down.

She didn't quite embrace him in a hug, but as soon as he reached around and put his arms around her, she squeezed back letting her wrist fall in plain sight of his eyes. He starred uneasily at it until he closed his eyes and decided to only bring it up later, not now when she was at her mother's funeral.

It was hard for **both** of them.


	9. Two Can play

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…**

She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, all a little too quickly. The pain from the day before washing over her as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Placing her head in her hands she had the perfect view of the blood that had seeped through her white long sleeved shirt that she had thrown on for bed.

She rubbed her temples gently, applying the pressure where needed. She blinked heavily and opened her eyes to see the man who she had talked to the day before standing in her doorway…her dad, House.

"Why did you come so early?" She grumbled and laid her head back down on the pillow, sinking into it and closing her eyes once again, trying to get rid of that feeling she had inside of her.

"Well you said yourself I missed 16 years, why wait any longer." He replied in a giddy voice that sounded full of actual excitement.

She stood up and didn't bother getting ready; he was already there, and just maybe he was right…why waste anymore time. She picked up her bags that she had packed the night before, getting ready for just this. But she didn't expect it to be this soon.

They went through all the necessary things that needed to be done and were on their way.

She sat in his vette and stared out the window, trying to avoid any uncomfortable conversations. She looked over at him for a second to take in his image. To take everything in about him that she could. He was rude, she knew that, but he had something about him that told her he had niceness about him. That was all it took was a second and he had caught her.

"Sooo, ready for a little chit chat?" he smiled and looked amused at the look on her face that showed him she was no where near ready, but he was going to get her to talk one way or the other.

"About what?" She continued to look out the window, at all the people passing by.

"Well we could start with the stain that's in your sweater there?" he pointed over at her arm where the dark blood has stained. She looked at him with glassy eyes and looked down at her sleeve.

"I-uh, I don't know what happened." She looked back up at him and saw the look that he was giving her. It was a look that showed her that he didn't believe one bit of what she said. "Oh so it just appeared there then…straaaange." He said in a somewhat irritated tone mixed with sarcasm.

She wrinkled up her nose, puckered her lips and narrowed her eyes, showing him that she was not going to back down. "No, actually, I fell into a razor blade that happened to be sitting out and well there ya go…" she pointed to her wrist and smirked. Although now he didn't look amused. Maybe he would have to take a more serious approach to this.


	10. Lies

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

She walked in and started to walk down the hall to where she had spotted the bathroom, when his cane stood in her way. "I need to go to the bathroom!" She scoffed as she saw the hard look in his eyes; she knew he knew, and that scared her to death.

She grabbed his cane and pushed it down so it was no longer in her way, looking up into his eyes, showing him the glare that he so many times had given to others. "Sit!" he demanded in a steady yet forceful tone.

She stepped back and turned to walk back to the bathroom where she had intended to go. He stopped her again. "I'm really getting sick of this…" She turned to face him, her face full of anger.

He cocked his head to the side and starred straight into her eyes, searching her soul. "Yeah, I think I would be too if I were you." His eyes pried into her until she looked away and closed her eyes tight. She opened them and looked back to him, meeting his gaze. "What do you mean?" She said as her voice cracked and she felt her lip twitch as she could see his mind reeling.

"Cutting yourself, you should be sick of it by now." He said in a fatherly tone, which showed her there was no more messing around.

She tightened her hand in a fist and blood dripped to the floor making a pool where it gathered. It hurt but she knew it would be the last time she could hurt herself physically, and now the mental pain would sink in.

She opened her hand and watched as the blood spotted and ran down her fingers. Placing her hand on his she gripped tightly and let go leaving the sharp bloody razor to rest in his hands. She could see the fury flicker in his eyes as he watched the blood on her hand run from the new cut.

She turned her back to him and stood for a moment holding her hand closed tightly inside the other one, when she finally turned to face him and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Don't lie to me…" he replied flatly and walked past her to his bedroom.

He sat on his bed and threw out the razor that she had placed in his hand. He stared at the blood that stay on his hand even after the razor was gone, her blood, he didn't want to ever have to see it again, but somehow he knew it wouldn't end here.

She let her body fall as she sunk to the ground and leaned all her weight against the wall. She touched the blood and remembered all the times she had seen her mom lock herself away in the bathroom, and when she would come out her wrist would be bandaged, and she had known all along what she was doing. And for some reason she always wanted to prove people wrong about her before; that she wasn't exactly like her mother, that she didn't have to drink, do drugs and lose all of her dignity. She wanted to be the complete opposite of her, only now that she was gone there was nothing for her to be the opposite of, except for everyone else. She decided that she would rebel against all the good things in life, since being the safe one never helped her out in life.

'Don't lie to me…" he had said. He was wrong, she was sorry; she just didn't know how to stop herself from doing it again.


	11. Hurting

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

She stared in disbelief, as he slammed the door behind him and shut her out, leaving her to fend for herself in House's apartment.

She dug deep into her duffel bad, grabbing one of her worst shirts. It was the one that she had worn while working around the house. It had rips and stains but it didn't matter for what she was going to do with it.

She ripped the shirt and tied it around her hand; she didn't want to get any blood on House's couch, for she would have to live with him for a very long time. Or at least until she was 18. She pulled it as tight as she could as she sat on the leather couch that was placed facing the piano.

She focused on the piano for a long while, before she stood up and walked towards the bench. She gently ran her hands over the keys, creating a soft sound to fall in the room.

He lay on his bed and listened to the sound that played through his door. It was now 8:30 and he knew teenagers never went to bed early, but he didn't expect what he heard next to come through his door.

She knocked softy on his door after wandering around the apartment a few more times.  
"House?" She called. He wad disappointed, she didn't call him Dad, but what could he expect, he hadn't been there her whole life. "Can I come in…?" She whispered, her cheek pressing against the wooden door.

He opened the door and looked at her, tears in her eyes and her hands tucked away in the pocket of her sweater. "What do you want?" He said bluntly. He wasn't going to baby this girl, not now, not with everything that was going on.

"Never mind." She said and went to turn away from him. "Wait, come in what is it?" He asked a little more gently than the last time.

She stepped into his room and quietly made her way to sit herself down on the edge of his bed. She stood in front of her making his point clear that he wanted the answer now. She looked up at him, into his blue eyes, that at this time looked soft and caring, not like he expression that was placed across his face, that showed obvious frustration.

"It wont stop bleeding." She held up her hand and showed him the spot that had already soaked through the white t-shirt.

He held her hand in his and examined the cut. It was bleeding a lot like she had said, but the clinic was closed so there wasn't much he could do about it, until it opened the next day, which by then the cut would probably have already stopped bleeding.  
He left and came back with a first aid kit, where he pulled out some ointment and gently put it across the cut. She flinched when he pressed to hard and pulled her hand from him.

"You'd think I hurt you or something." She giggled and let him put some bandages across it.


	12. Trust

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

The room spun round and round, every time she kicked off and spun herself around, enjoying the cool breeze it brought to her face. She had her eyes closed and her dark hair brushed against her tanned skin ever so delicately. She looked beautiful he thought. She was his daughter it was hard to believe, but it was what he had to tell everyone, Wilson his best friend, Cuddy his boss and the ducklings. But most of all it was what he had to tell himself.

She opened her eyes and caught him staring at her. "What do I have something on my face?" She wiped furiously at her mouth and nose, looking at him expectantly. "Yeah a little something right here." He pointed to his nose, which made her stand up as quick as she could and run to the nearest bathroom. He chuckled under his breath.

Wilson appeared at the door with a dumb smirk on his face. "So where is she?" He said looking around House's office, as if he would find her hidden away somewhere.

"Who Cuddy, well she left a little while ago, why you wanted to join in?" He asked in a quite sarcastic tone, and looked back down at some papers that were scattered across his desk.

Wilson sat down across from him and starred at him with the same dumb smirk as when he had first come in. "Your daughter House, where is she, I want to meet her." He asked again leaning forward in his chair just a bit.

Just then Kay appeared in the doorway, "Hello…" She replied to his comment shyly and waved slightly to him, when he had turned around to greet her.

"Wow she's nothing like you." "Thank you." House shot back and let a small smirk cross his lips.

Kay glared at him and sat down on the couch that was placed against the wall, closing her eyes once again to catch up on the sleep she had missed, from being dragged to the hospital so early in the morning, because House didn't trust her being home alone.

'Obviously he had trust issues" she thought when she argued her point of why she should be able to stay home, and he came back with I don't trust you.

Trust. It seemed to be a big thing with him. Which made her think that maybe they may not get along with each other very well. She had already betrayed his trust and lied to him, she thought, not when she had said she was sorry, but when she said all she wanted to do was go to the bathroom.


	13. Thankful

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

The room spun round and round, every time she kicked off and spun herself around, enjoying the cool breeze it brought to her face. She had her eyes closed and her dark hair brushed against her tanned skin ever so delicately. She looked beautiful he thought. She was his daughter it was hard to believe, but it was what he had to tell everyone, Wilson his best friend, Cuddy his boss and the ducklings. But most of all it was what he had to tell himself.

She opened her eyes and caught him staring at her. "What do I have something on my face?" She wiped furiously at her mouth and nose, looking at him expectantly. "Yeah a little something right here." He pointed to his nose, which made her stand up as quick as she could and run to the nearest bathroom. He chuckled under his breath.

Wilson appeared at the door with a dumb smirk on his face. "So where is she?" He said looking around House's office, as if he would find her hidden away somewhere.

"Who Cuddy, well she left a little while ago, why you wanted to join in?" He asked in a quite sarcastic tone, and looked back down at some papers that were scattered across his desk.

Wilson sat down across from him and starred at him with the same dumb smirk as when he had first come in. "Your daughter House, where is she, I want to meet her." He asked again leaning forward in his chair just a bit.

Just then Kay appeared in the doorway, "Hello…" She replied to his comment shyly and waved slightly to him, when he had turned around to greet her.

"Wow she's nothing like you." "Thank you." House shot back and let a small smirk cross his lips.

Kay glared at him and sat down on the couch that was placed against the wall, closing her eyes once again to catch up on the sleep she had missed, from being dragged to the hospital so early in the morning, because House didn't trust her being home alone.

'Obviously he had trust issues" she thought when she argued her point of why she should be able to stay home, and he came back with I don't trust you.

Trust. It seemed to be a big thing with him. Which made her think that maybe they may not get along with each other very well. She had already betrayed his trust and lied to him, she thought, not when she had said she was sorry, but when she said all she wanted to do was go to the bathroom.


	14. Who is Gary?

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

As she skipped down the hall and made her way back to House's office she noticed the stares that the nurses and staff were giving her, like she shouldn't be happy, that maybe being with House should make her miserable, and maybe it did make her feel a little uneasy knowing hardly anything about this man, but she knew he was her father and that's what made it okay.

'He didn't seem like that bad of a guy' she thought to herself as she opened the door to the conference room, realizing no one was in there or in House's office. She sat down in a chair at the table after pouring herself a cup of coffee and loading it with sugar, as she didn't like the bitter taste.

She sipped at it, while making a face of disgust, but kept going as she had no money and the coffee was free. She laid her head down on top of her arms that were folded on the table and closed her eyes.

She fell into a deep sleep and was very comfortable, when someone jostled her and she looked up blurry eyed, "Gary?"

She heard laughing, and knew instantly that it wasn't Gary's. 'Crap!' she thought as she rubbed her eyes and looked up at the blonde haired Aussie, whose seat she had occupied.

"Oh…sorry." She whispered softly as her face turned a light shade of red and she stood, grabbing her coffee and making her way out the door, when House stopped in front of her blocking her way from the door.

She bumped into him and looked up for her eyes to reach his. "Excuse me." She said dryly and went to move around him. He moved in her way and she stepped back a couple of steps and put her hands on her hips, looking very annoyed. House's expression however never changed once.

"Your in my way!" She said firmly and kept her eyes locked with House's. He turned his head away from her and looked all around the room, to the ducklings and then back at her. "Where are you going to go this time?" He looked down at her and his face stayed emotionless.

"Well first I went to the bathroom, then I came back and you weren't here so I sat in that chair," She pointed over at the chair that Chase was sitting at.

"Until the English guy woke me up, and now I'm, here, and going anywhere I can sleep." She rolled her eyes, when Chase yelled back at her. "I'm not English!"

A smirk appeared on House's lips as he figured out that everyone was wrong about her. She was exactly like him, she was stubborn, and she was very sarcastic, and most of all she was damaged.

She smiled back at the expression she had made come to his face and walked past him as he stepped to the side.

"Wait whose Gary?" Chase yelled after her. She turned on her heel and looked back at all the expecting eyes that fell upon her, including House's. A smirk now fell upon her lips and she turned back around and started to walk towards the cafeteria.


	15. Deception

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

Later that night she sat on her bed in the guestroom and imagined what it would look like once she made it 'her room'. It was once Wilson's, but House said that he could sleep on he couch.

He sat at his piano and held his hands over the keys ready to play, when he heard humming coming from her room. It was soft and pretty. He remembered when Kyra had sung to him, how beautiful her voice was when she had came up beside him and sang sweetly in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

He gently played the notes of a song that went to the tune of her humming, when she came out and sat down on the bench beside him and smiled.

He looked her up and down and noticed she had changed into jeans, and a tight fitting shirt that fell off of her shoulders.

"Going somewhere?" he asked looking down at the keys and letting his fingers touch them softly as if he was going to play something, but wasn't to sure of how.

"If you don't mind." She looked down at her hands that were playing with a silver ring oh the index finger.

He looked back up at her and forced a smile, "Sure."

She didn't quite know what to do, but in the moment she took him into a hug and embraced him as tightly as she could, "Thanks…" She said as she started to run out the door.

"Wait!" He called after her, as she was about to close the door behind her. She turned to look at him with fear in her eyes, as if he was about to change his mind.

"You can't go if you're going to see that guy…Gary." Her mouth dropped and she frowned at him, before turning it into a big smile. "Don't worry I'm not." And she skipped out the door and closed it behind her as fast as she could.

She hesitated, closing her eyes shut and thinking for a moment, before she ran down the steps and to the car that awaited her.

She sat beside him and smiled, but deep down wondered what House would think if he knew she had lied to him. She knew he didn't like lying.

House starred out the window and held his head down in disappointment, he knew she would be trouble, but he certainly didn't expect this.


	16. Wambulance

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

She sat next to him on a bright red couch holding a beer in her hand and sipping at it slowly. The feeling of the alcohol slowly drowning all of her fears and pain was somehow gratifying. So she took sip after sip, the amount she was taking in getting larger and larger each time, until it ended with Gary holding her hair back as she spewed the alcohol back out into a toilet in someone's house.

"I've got to go now Kay," He kneeled down and looked into her eyes as she looked on dazed with her eyes glassed over. "Are you coming with me?" He held her face steady for her to look at him.

"No, I'm gunna stay here with my friends," She giggled and pointed to all the people in the room. Truth is she didn't know anyone that was there.

Gary left and she stayed, drinking until she puked once again, until she decided it was best that she go home.

She stumbled over her feet as she made her way home down the sidewalk in the dark. She turned quickly to look behind her when she heard someone coming up behind her when they held their hands over her eyes and said, "Guess who?"

She rubbed her eyes and looked around at her surroundings. A light pole, a road, and she was laying on top of a bench in the street. She sat up and gripped her head in her hands, as it was throbbing with pain and her brain went a mile a minute.

'What happened last night', she couldn't remember a thing past Gary telling her he was leaving, except the part where someone covered her eyes. 'Who was that?" She thought as she stood and started to make her way back to House's apartment, even though she knew he would probably want nothing to do with her by now.

It looked to be about 5 in the morning, he would be livid, when she walked in the door and her head ached even more as she stood outside of it and waited for the exact moment to knock, if he was even up.

Her mind reeled with all the thoughts that were spinning through it, and her legs felt as if they might give out, when House opened the door and grabbed her by the arm dragging her inside to sit her on the couch; she gratefully sat and rested her head against the soft leather.

He stood in front of her and whacked his cane hard against the wooden coffee table creating a loud thump.

She opened her eyes and blinked a couple of times shaking her head and wrinkling her forehead in pain.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He boomed and the sound of his voice being so loud and demanding made her wince.

She looked at him and tried not to cry but the tears stung her already swollen, red eyes and fell down her cheeks uncontrollably. "I wasn't…" She let her voice trail off and she looked away from his eyes, which scared her half to death.

"Obviously!" he boomed once more and paced back and forth.

She rubbed her face and wiped her tears that continued to fall freely. It hurt so bad to know that she had hurt him, and she really didn't know how to fix it.

"Want me to call the wambulance?" He asked in a sarcastic tone, that was meant to lighten the mood just a little, because he knew she had been through a lot lately, and that maybe him being this hard on her right away wouldn't help anything.

She stood up and sniffled holding herself in her own arms as she tried to make her way to her room when she stumbled over her own feet and House caught her in his arms, holding her tightly in his chest with her face buried in his neck as she cried and his buried in her hair.


	17. New Case

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

He went to work and she came with once again, seeing as she wasn't enrolled in the school nearest to 'home' yet.

He went to the conference room and she laid on his office couch staring up at the ceiling thinking about everything that had happened the night before, trying to remember the parts that she had seemed to block out.

Gary had left; she went to walk home. "Guess who?" She remembered that…but who had said it, it wasn't anyone she knew.

She was tired but she couldn't seem to fall asleep, even after she closed her eyes and tried not to think about it, she couldn't help it, how could she not remember if something happened. She knew her whole body ached, and that she couldn't stop crying.

She turned to her side and let the tears fall onto the couch. She looked up at House and saw him looking at her, along with the occasional stares that she was getting from the ducklings.

House pointed to the board as if they working on a case, which they really weren't, instead the symptoms read: Fatigue and tearfulness.

He read the symptoms off and continued to tell the ducklings that the patient had been drinking the night before, and that the patient was in fact his daughter.  
She wasn't really their patient; it was more of a mission.

"Hangover!" Chase blurted out, before he could close his mouth. "It's quite obvious really."

House rolled his eyes and looked up just to see Kay run out of his office with her hand over her mouth.

"Add nausea to her symptoms."

She leaned over the toilet bowl and heaved out the only content that was in her stomach, acid.

She wiped her mouth with her hand and sat down on the edge of toilet, running her hands through her hair as she let her tears spill over her eyes once again as all her emotions came pouring over her and confusion came into play.

She ran from the bathroom when she bumped into Cameron, who was actually going to check up on her, on House's orders.

Kay kept on walking not bothering to look up when Cameron called out her name, trying to stay as far away as she could from people who would want her to talk.


	18. positively scared

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

Another day, another day she would have to avoid everyone. Except the fact that she would have to go to the clinic at sometime, a time when House wasn't there, and get checked out, considering her stomach tossed and turned causing her to throw up almost every hour.

She sat on the couch like she always did and expected that House would go into the conference room and take on another case. Instead he sat down beside her, leaning his cane against the side.

She held her hands on her lap, and tried to stay calm with someone so close to her, but the tears filled her eyes as she stood and tried to keep her voice steady, "I'm gunna go get something to eat."

She walked down the hall and wiped at her face, trying to figure out where all these feelings were coming from.

She stopped at the clinic and stared at all the people waiting, 'no wonder he was always complaining about it' she thought as she took a seat, keeping her eyes open for House.

She sat on the table and waited for someone to come in, rubbing her hands on her thighs nervously.

"So you think you have the flu…" He trailed off when he looked up to see Kay sitting on the table. "Yeah, but ill get another doctor." She said quietly as she hopped off the table and stood in front of it, looking down at her feet.

He looked down at her, and waited a moment before speaking, "Your pregnant?"

He sounded disappointed, and she expected it from him, but not this soon.

"I don't know yet…"

She tilted her head to look him in the eye, but he was already gone down the hall, and Cameron stood in his place.

"Ready?" She asked.

Her crying had stopped and she stood in front of his office for quite a while before gaining the confidence to open the door.

Standing there before him she felt so small, as he stood and towered over her, making her feel so worthless as he looked at her through piercing eyes that went right through her, causing her to quiver.

"So?" He demanded in a harsh voice that caught her attention, and her eyes moved from the direction of the ground to his face.

He looked angry she thought. "Positive." She said weakly and her eyes once again stung with the tears she had been holding back.

She shuttered as he walked past her and swung his cane against his desk, breaking some items that were placed on top.

She looked down and noticed that one of the things he had smashed was a picture that was framed of her. He had put it on his desk.

" I want you out of my house!" He boomed.

The ducklings that had now occupied the conference room looked over to see the argument that was going on in House's office, and everyone that was walking through the halls could see everything that was going on. She felt betrayed, and completely humiliated.

"It wasn't Gary…" She yelled and her voice cracked as she broke out into sobs.

"And that's supposed to be better!" He roared, as he sat he down in the chair near his desk.

He kneeled down to look at her, with his face as serious as it had ever been, "I want you out…"

She looked straight into his eyes and whispered, "I was raped."


	19. So sorry

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

His heart stopped as he grabbed her hand in his and took in the eyeful that sat before him. How could he have missed it, Nausea, and fatigue, he figured out that it was caused by her being pregnant, but he didn't see this at all. The signs were all there, confusion, fatigue, and her aching body.

She tried to pull her hand away from him, feeling ashamed, angry and depressed all at once. Her head pounded with tension and her stomach cramped up from crying so hard.

She clutched her side and tried to catch her breath that was escaping her.

"Come on you need to get checked out." He grabbed her arm gently and helped her up out of the chair as best as he could with his cane.

She stepped back and tried to pull away from him, suddenly feeling very distant. "I'm fine." She looked him in the eye and he grabbed her arm again trying to lead her out of the office and to the clinic.

She pulled her arm back from him and stepped back, "DON"T TOUCH ME!" she screamed in a high pitch tone that traveled through to the other room. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" She repeated over and over again until Foreman came into the room.

"What did you do to her House?"

"Grab her arms!" He demanded and Chase came to help as well, as Cameron stood by and watched as the scene played out. Kay was screaming and yelling and the fear that flickered in House's eyes as he tried to control what was going on was terrifying.

House left the room and came back as fast as his can could carry him with a syringe in hand.

He walked towards Kay and she kept on with the screaming, shaking her head back and forth and trying to move her arms that were up above her head with foreman holding her. And Chase holding onto her legs, as she was now lying on House's couch.

Her eyes lit up as she saw the syringe in his hand and quieted down, resorting to a small whimper that escaped her, as tears filled her eyes and dared to fall.

She closed her eyes as he came closer and tried to push away her fears, but the night that she had tried to block out came flooding over her and she gasped for air as he stuck the needle through her skin and into her arm to sedate her.

She opened her eyes and gazed up at him. Her lips trembled as she spoke, "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry dad."

He brushed her hair back out of her face. "It's ok," he said gently.


	20. Don't speak

Hey everyone thank you so much for the reviews :D I'm glad that people are enjoying my story ;)

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

Her arms and legs stayed in place by restraints, they didn't want to risk her hurting herself, or anyone else for that matter.

She could feel the sedation wearing off and her headache come back as painful as it was before. She tried to move her hand but it held back and it frustrated her, causing her to shake and tremble as she tried to free herself.

Perfect tear droplets stayed on top of her eyelashes as she tried to steady her breathing; her heart racing in her chest, the pounding of it echoing throughout her ears.

She licked her lips that had become chapped from all her yelling and crying. She was exhausted yet she felt alert and ready at any moment to stand her ground against anything that came her way. Her eyes traced the room, starting from one side and back to the other, over and over, until her eyelids became heavy and she gave in to the rest.

There he was; he stood there over top of her watching her helpless body shutter under his hot breath, and her eyes glass over with the salty tears that he kissed off her cheek.

'Do something' her brain yelled, but her body didn't' respond like it should have. She froze under pressure, and maybe this all wouldn't be happening if she could have just did something in the first place.

Her felt her heart leap into her throat as he ran his rough finger down her face. She opened her mouth and screamed until her lungs gave out on her, until she screamed loud enough that the perpetrator stepped away from her fearing that everyone would hear her and come to her rescue. But no one did, no one seemed to care, look out for yourself and no one else is all they seemed to think. It was too late now anyways; the damage was already done.

She coughed as she awoke, feeling the hoarseness of her throat that caused even more pain to run through her aching body, from her head all the way down to her feet.

Opening her eyes widened in fear that she had fallen asleep and hadn't watched for anyone coming in her room. She looked from one side to the next when House walked through the door.

She pulled from the restraints trying to break free, but only resulted in House coming near her with another sedative, ready to relax her once again, and give her a few more hours of restfulness.

Her wrists became irritated by the heavy leather straps that were placed around them. Her legs began cramping in the awkward position that she was holding her body. She had her back arched and her legs twisted away from House.

He put his hand over her stomach and gently laid her back so she was in a comfortable position and sat down beside her, putting the syringe on the bedside table, seeing the stress that it caused her.


	21. Longing

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

Tears fell over her lips as he checked her vitals and sat down once more, keeping a watchful eye on her.

Her breathing steadied as she saw he wasn't going to pick up the needle again, she didn't want to be asleep anymore, it scared her to be asleep, it brought back the pain of the rape, the pain that she hadn't remembered at the time, but had now, and that seemed scarier than knowing…what if she had forgotten something.

She closed her eyes and tried to relax her muscles, as they felt tense and sore. She felt the skin around her wrists burn from being irritated by the leather. She took in a deep breath. "When can we go home?" She spoke in a small voice that House could barely hear, as she was looking in the opposite direction of him out the window.

Her hands freed from the restraints as she made them into fists, stretching them until they felt slightly better.

She rolled onto her stomach and crossed her arms on top of the pillow putting her cheek on top to look at him, with relief showing through her eyes.

"Not yet, its 3 in the morning, we will have to wait until its earlier, and until your better."

She wrinkled her fore head at him and frowned, "I was always okay."

Right after the words had slipped her mouth she knew he was feeling angry, but just didn't want to show her.

She sat up and grabbed her head before swinging her legs off the side of the bed to face him. "Maybe I wasn't always ok", she looked away and smirked a little, before she turned her attention back to him.

She smiled big and shrugged her shoulders, cocking her head to the side and gazed into his eyes, losing herself in the reality of having a real father, knowing exactly who would take care of her each day, and knowing that someone would always look out for what was best for her.

"You know your eyes tell it all…" her voice sounded more confident now, and she was smiling more than ever, although inside she felt like dying, that she would never be good enough for him.

Suddenly he seemed to be amused, as he leaned forward and asked in a very sarcastic tone, "Really? What am I thinking right now?" as he laughed inwardly.

She giggled and leaned back onto the bed resting her head against the pillow, tilting it to the side to keep eye contact with him. "No silly, I mean that's how I knew you were my dad…no one else has eyes like us." She smiled and let her eyes flutter closed as she drifted off to sleep.

"No one else will ever be like you…"he whispered to himself as he watched the features in her face soften, and tears swell in his eyes as he rested his head down on his cane.

Cameron stood outside the door, being on the nightshift she had volunteered to take for their patient, all to be close to House, even when the only thing he wanted was to be close to his daughter.

They were all longing for something.


	22. something else

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

He turned to face her, sensing someone had been watching him, when he caught her off guard her face showing it all.

She caught her breath and smiled slightly at House, sensing he didn't really want her there at that time, considering the way she saw his eyes glimmer with tears and the stressed look that had now took over him.

"I'm sorry…" she said quickly and walked in the other direction to check on their patient. She sat down beside him and held her head in her hands, her loose auburn hair falling just in front of her eyes. She mentally cursed herself for letting him see her; for being there in the first place.

A cough came from beside her, and for just a moment she thought that her patient had woken from his coma. She looked up, brushing her hair from her face with a sweep of her hand and stared up into the crushing eyes of Dr. House, the very man she was trying to run away from.

"Are you a peeping Cameron now?" He spoke sarcastically with amusement on the tip of his tongue.

She stood up in front of him to stand her ground when the first look she took into his eyes melted her anger like butter. "I'm sorry House." She tried to look anywhere but at him and keep her face from becoming an even brighter shade of red.

"Why Dr. Cameron that is a very nice color for you, I should embarrass you more often." He said as he touched her face with his hand as if to try and embarrass her even more than he had, but really he just wanted to touch her, to be near her.

She felt shivers go down her spine as his hand fell upon her face. The way he always knew how to make her feel such a way mesmerized her.

He pulled up a chair next to her and turned on the TV to catch up on some soaps, even though it was late at night.

"Don't you want to be with Kay?" She asked seriously, but tried to keep it in a gentle tone, so that he wouldn't think she was going to end up talking about her feelings, which he hated.

"Who my daughter? Nah I don't even like her all that much." He smirk formed at the side of his mouth and he looked at her through the corner of his eye, to see that he had brought a smile to her face. He loved making her happy.


	23. Time

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

As soon as she was back at home, she took a long shower, scrubbing every inch of her body to get rid of the feeling of being dirty, the feeling of that mans hands against her body.

She closed her eyes as the water spilled over her and made her feel somewhat content for that split second without thinking. 'Thinking', that's what always brought her back to that night, and to all her lies.

A knock on the door brought her back from her dream world and into real life once more. "Are you okay in there, you've been in there almost an hour."

Time seemed to be going faster now, to be flying past her with every move she made. Where had it gone, time, the years she spent with her mother, the hours in the hospital, and the minutes in the shower. It had all gone by without her noticing, all gone by with her thinking of the past.

The past was something she wanted to forget, but to remember as well. To feel the hurt that had been placed upon her by that man was what she never wanted to feel again, but to remember her mother day after day, just the way she was was what made her happy; she didn't want to forget that.

Ten more minutes thinking of him and she turned her head to the door letting the water hit her cheek, "I'm fine, I'll just be a while longer."

The soap in her hands felt good as she lathered it and again scrubbed until her skin was red, and tender at the touch.

House limped back down the hall mumbling something crude about teenagers.

The soft feeling of her pants and sweater draped over her body, hiding every bit of her made her feel unusually comfortable, more comfortable than she had ever felt in these clothes before.

She starred into her own eyes as she pushed the wet strands of hair away from her face and into a messy ponytail. She opened the medicine cabinet that she had been showing her reflection and searched for something to ease her headache. Nothing there except for a bottle of vicodin, that would do…but she decided it wasn't the best thing to do, to betray him now when she needed him the most.

She made her way down the hall to the smell of take out Chinese in the kitchen that greeted her. Crossing her arms and dropping herself onto the couch, she beamed, "I love Chinese food too."


	24. I want you back

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

The feeling in the pit of her stomach made her feel nauseous, the way it twisted and turned inside her, along with the constant pounding that banged against the inside of her head.

She clicked her tongue against the top of her mouth, swallowing hard against the knot in her throat. A horrible sensation crossed over her as if she was right there back in the moment; more and more time was passing by as she let them reel over her. His hand on her legs, her hips, her stomach, it all felt so real in that split second that the tears in her eyes that she desperately fought off fell down her cheeks.

Squinting her eyes against the bright light that caused her head to bang furiously, back and forth back and forth. The way her thoughts seemed to spill over her face, showed the psychiatrist that she was in pain, seemed to be too much for her now and maybe for her to ever tell.

Shivers fell down her body as she stood on shaky legs and proceeded to walk from the office, being let go early, not making any progress.

She thought back to the night she had gotten home from the hospital. It was a night she would never forget, the feelings she felt inside that overwhelmed her and caused her to cry until her pillow was soaked through and her eyes swelled with the redness that outlined them.

She showered for a good hour and a half, worrying House until he himself came knocking on the door seeing if she was okay. Something he would never do, but found himself doing more of, was worrying about her, and about the people around him, hiding it from them with the sarcasm he used every single day.

The way his voice sounded, so full of concern frightened her, until it came to the very thing she thought she had put away for good. She searched her mind for anything that she could possibly use to end her life, until her head pounded harder and harder.

As soon as the thought had come it had gone, but the same couldn't be said for House. He played with the thought over and over again in his head, wondering how she could possibly be spending so much time in that bathroom, the very place he had stopped her from going the first day she had come home.

She stopped herself, thinking into the past, and zoning out was becoming much too common for her.

The way her life was predictable, but not at the same time was strange. Always knowing something bad was right around the corner, but never knowing what it would hold, until she ran straight into it.

There he was. She hadn't wanted to tell him anything yet, she hadn't even picked up the phone to tell him everything that had happened that night, instead of burdening everyone else around her, she kept it inside and let it eat at her insides more and more every day.

She froze. He looked perfect like he always had, but perfect always had its imperfections, his tired eyes and the way they seemed to flutter with tears that didn't fall were his.

She held her head down as he froze too, not knowing if he could handle what she had to say. So instead she looked up into his face, seeing the distress that played upon it.

She smiled as a tear threatened to fall, but she held it back with a quick shake of her head, and kept her arms across her chest as if in a defensive position.

Walking towards her he gently put her arms around her and pulled her in close. She flinched. The sudden affection threw her off, expecting so much more than this. She let her head fall to his chest, "Sorry I never called."

He stepped back from her his face more cold than the last, now it was determined, determined for an answer she supposed.

"What do you want from me Gary?" Fear and anxiety came out clearly across her voice and he took advantage of it.

"I want my girlfriend back", he said bluntly and turned to walk in the opposite direction, leaving her standing with her lively blue eyes, looking hopeless and filled with sorrow.

She looked up and into the office that she was standing in front of.

She caught his eye, which she suspected was on her from the second she stood there with Gary. He was protective and she knew that, but she couldn't face him now. So she gave one quick glance without even a smile, but a glare that could kill, the one he gave.

She went to find someone she could talk to, someone other than House.


	25. Someone to talk to

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

There she was Alison Cameron, the one her father had feelings for but decided to keep them locked inside. It was blatantly obvious, she could see right through his act of pure hatred towards her, the way he looked at her, not as a boss to an employer, it was much more than that, maybe complete infatuation. Whatever it was, it was there, and wouldn't just go away.

She was a nurturer, she wanted to help everyone, she knew of that the day she came to try and talk to her, and she breezed past her without another word. She was damaged herself, and as for House, that clearly wasn't the reason why she liked him, it was more for who he was. But maybe she was just over analyzing them.

She stepped inside the conference room, in plain sight of House from his office, her back turned to him facing Cameron, shutting him out from her.

Cameron looked up with her adoring green eyes and sat back shocked to see the girl standing in front of her. Although she had her mother's looks, she had House in her and the eyes were a complete give away.

It was almost haunting the way she could just glance at you and you felt like she was figuring you out right then and there.

"Hi Kay, what's up?" She said in a friendly voice that was very welcoming for Kay, who was reminded of her mother when it came to calming her, and relaxing her the way she always had.

She remembered coming home the night she decided to tell her she had cancer, and she had cried until she had no tears left inside, and she comforted her then, even when she knew the day her last breath would be drawn was coming closer and closer. She didn't sympathize for herself; she sympathized for her daughter, who would have to come to terms after her death.

"Kay?" A hand on her shoulder took her from the moment, as she stared into Cameron's eyes, tears dancing over her own.

She sat her down and sat in front of her, wiping her tears as they fell one by one. "Kay, what's wrong want me to get your dad?"

The word 'dad', it was strange to her.

"No, I just wanted someone to talk to; I've had a hard day…" She whispered only loud enough that Cameron could hear.

She continued to replay the events as she told Cameron. She didn't dare go near the subject of the rape, but it had crossed her mind over and over as she spoke; it stayed at the tip of her tongue just waiting to be let go.

Cameron comforted her when she felt it was okay, trying to be as gentle and caring as she could, without stepping over her boundaries. It was hard for her to know House had a child, but somehow becoming closer and knowing more about Kay made her feel somewhat closer with House as well.


	26. Life isn't fair

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

She sat alone, the only sounds heard were the bubbling of the coffee pot that sat in the corner, and the constant sniffling that came from her, as she tried to catch her breath slightly, hoping the miserable feelings would soon be gone.

The sound of his cane thumped into the room, coming closer and closer as she kept her eyes closed and awaited him to make his presence known. He didn't. She kept her eyes closed and let the tears leak from underneath and she sniffed one more time and gripped her arms tightly with her hands, holding herself from showing how much she was shaking under the shadow of him.

One, two, three, she gave herself three seconds more and she opened her eyes to see House sitting in the chair that Dr. Cameron had occupied, before she left to do some more tests on their recent patient.

Silence. It filled the room as she looked down at her legs and blinked down hard, trying to keep her calm and not breakdown.

"How did your session go?" He asked dryly, feeling as if he would explode with the anger that filled him if he spoke any longer.

"Fine." She said and looked away from him, feeling the color drain from her face, as she knew it was all but fine.

"So am I going to have to pay Dr.Cameron for her services, or are you going to start talking to Dr. Riley." He was now talking seriously, showing her it was time to talk and not play games.

After a pregnant pause he continued, seeing she wouldn't be the first to talk, " I saw you got out early, so I called over there and she told me that you two didn't make much progress, that you actually didn't talk at all."

"You can't just call my doctor and get that information!" she spat; angered that he would invade her privacy in such a way.

"Did you forget I was also your doctor my dear?" He asked calmly smiling in such a way that she had, had enough.

She stood over him as he sat in the chair, and yelled into his face, "That's not fair!" Her face reddened with the humility that he always seemed to bring to her. She raised her hand in a fist and brought it forward to hit him, when he grabbed her wrist and held her close, holding his face close to hers, and spoke, " Life isn't fair." Letting her wrist fall back to her side, he limped out of the conference room and yelled back, "Meet me in the car, we'll talk at home."


	27. Talk to me

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

He stomach dropped as House stepped into the car and started it, idling there for a moment, but it wasn't something he said that caused it to fall it was the deafening silence that filled the space between them.

They stopped in front of the apartment and she could feel her whole body get tense, as he opened the door for her when she wouldn't get out on her own. She wanted to sit there for eternity, and let the time pass as it had before, but right now it was crawling by, until the moment they began to talk.

It was hard not to be afraid, especially of someone who brought fear to everyone at the Hospital he worked in, whether it be staff or patients they were cowards when it came to facing him.

The loud noise that came from the door as he closed it and they were inside echoed through her mind. "Sit!" He demanded and she did what she was told, knowing there was no way out of this one, after what she had done, or tried to do.

She felt as if he could hear the pounding of her heart outside of her, the way it hit her chest methodically. Pound after pound, it would hit and hit, hard enough that it made her chest feel tighter.

The look on his face said it all; from the one glance she took of him. He was angry with her, furious even.

She looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something, but instead he paced the room in front of her, trying to think of just the right words before he spoke.

He stopped pacing and stood directly in front of her, leaning on his cane so that he had eye contact with her.

"What were you thinking?" He started off yelling but his voice steadied when he saw her back away slightly into the couch and hold her face down to keep her eyes away from him. He didn't want to scare her, just get his point across for once and for all.

He sat on the coffee table keeping his eyes on her the whole time. "Kay, I want you to be able to tell me things…" he said in somewhat of a saddened tone, which showed her how hurt he truly was when she had ignored him and went to Cameron.

She titled her head up and looked into her eyes, his eyes, to answer him when she felt a wave of relief wash over her. "I want too…it's just hard."


	28. Let's order pizza

**AN**: Hey everyone, thank you for reading, and for the reviews :D ..and about the anonymous thing, I think I fixed it lol…well anyways on with the story!

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

He let a small smile form across his face for just a moment before it had left again and his face remained serious. He starred into her eyes, that seemed to be filled with so much pain, and hurt…that hurt him.

"I'm your father, it shouldn't be hard!" he was angered with himself, not her. Was he truly that bitter, that cold, and that selfish that he couldn't open up and let another person in. He wanted to, but there was much of him, that didn't know how to trust, she had betrayed him over and over.

He shook his head as to rid the thoughts that were floating around within in, looking back up at Kay, catching her eyes. Her lips trembled as she tried to look for the right words, she didn't want to upset him, and she didn't want to lose him. "That's why it is hard, you're my dad, and I don't want to disappoint you…at least anymore than I already did…" she blushed slightly and dragged her hand over her face, her makeup trailing down her cheeks.

He got one look at her and started to laugh, he couldn't stop himself, it was the kind of laugh that stuck deep in the pit of your stomach, hurting every time you laughed harder, trying to catch his breath he pointed at her and continued to laugh, until his face was beet red, and he had lost all of hi breath.

"What is so funny about this?" She rose to her feet and starred at him with a look of disbelief, not believing that he could be that insensitive.

"You face!" He managed to blurt out between his uncontrollable laughter.

She ran to the mirror in the hall and noticed what he was laughing at, giggling to herself that she had become so mad, at something like this. The black streaks went down from her eyes and all the way down to he bottom of her cheeks in two perfect lines.

"Okay, maybe it is funny." She smiled and draped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her and hugging him tightly she kissed his forehead and said, "I'm sorry."

He stopped laughing and said, "That's enough seriousness for today, let's order some pizza!"

He made his way to the phone, changing his mood in a matter of seconds. Kay looked dumbfounded. How could someone be serious one second and so not the next?

She didn't know that House had never been serious for more than five minutes.


	29. Late

**Hey everyone thank you for reading :) and I hope that you will all review because reviews make me happy LOL anyways here's the next chapter…**

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

A small bump had begun to show, bubbling up in her shirt, causing some of them to become too small. It had only been a month, and there were the occasional ups and downs. She gotten into many fights with House over small little things, but they had become closer in the process.

No one would notice, she was barely showing, just enough for her to see, but nevertheless she was paranoid that Gary would notice something was different. After their encounter in the hospital, she ignored him more than she ever had before, even when she wanted to tell him so badly what was going on with her.

Secrets were the best and the worst things in the world, in a way they were like a lie. A lie that was never told, instead you keep it to yourself. She wished the pregnancy could be her little secret, but everyone knew, everyone at the hospital, her dad, everyone but Gary.

She pulled a baggy t-shirt over her head and some loose jeans on before looking in the mirror. A light touch of makeup and her hair being straightened made all the difference in the world. She hated the way she looked now, everyone noticed that, her confidence had feel into the floor, along with her life.

She picked up her bag and threw it over her shoulder as she stepped out the door. House was already gone so she locked up and stood on the porch in front of his apartment and breathed in the cool air calming and relaxing herself before she had to start yet another stressful, worrying day.

She stepped into class and looked around at all the familiar faces that she greeted everyday, they all stared back and their eyes upon her made her nervous. She looked to the floor avoiding all eye contact and tried to make her way to her seat, when the teacher stopped her.

"Ms. House, late again I see, waste my time and I'll waste yours after school." She smiled down at her venomously, like most teachers did.

"I can't I have to meet my dad." She said quietly, trying to ignore the snickers coming from across the class.

"How about I call your father, and find out what time would be best…hmm?" She starred into her eyes, with hers that seemed to made of ice.

"Do what you want…I'm not standing here any longer." Kay said, becoming frustrated with the way things were going. She knew House would be mad.

She turned around and left the room, with the teacher calling after her.


	30. okay trouble again

HEY EVERYONE! Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed, and yes the teach is a b-otch LOL, reminds me of one of my teachers haha. And everybody get ready for some drama to happen woohoo lol. Anyways to everyone reading, thanks and please review if you can :)

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

She let it all spill into the toilet, leaning on her knees. Feeling the relief quickly after she stood and rinsed her face off in the sink. It hit her quickly, the nausea, it came as soon as it went. She had to get out of that room; she didn't really care what Ms. Ville had to say at that moment when she felt like she might spill more than just her guts in front of the class.

Now she had time to think, she thought about what House would think, he had gotten calls from her teachers before, but not for talking back or anything serious, it was more for not getting homework done, and he had got on her case about that, to the point where she now was actually getting decent grades.

She walked back into the hall and rubbed her head slowly, closing her eyes tightly against the light in the halls. She didn't notice where she was walking when she ran right into Ms. Ville, who had came looking for her. "Sorry…" she mumbled, continuing to rub her head in her hands.

"You will be, to the office Kay." She pointed the direction and she looked down the hall to the principals' office…somewhere she hadn't been yet. "O-KAY!" She replied grinning, when she put extra emphasis on her name.

It was a slow day, he sat with his feet up on the desk and his cane on his desk, playing his game boy and watching Soaps at the same time. He was multitasking, as he would like to say.

Cuddy barged into his office and starred at him, her mouth in a frown, the usual. "Clinic NOW!" she yelled, like she did everyday, and waited for House to come back with a witty remark like he did everyday.

"But mommy I'm tired." He tried to mimic his best little boy voice and added a pout to seal the deal. It didn't work.

Cuddy began to yell when the phone rang.

"Saved by the ring!" House smirked and picked up the phone. "Bonjour, House speaking!"

PS-- Please remember to review! LOL :D


	31. I'm fine

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

Her stomach tossed and turned, waiting for her Ms.Ville, to come back to the office with House. She knew Ms. "Villain" would want to embarrass her in front of him, and she knew that House would try and understand why she ran, that maybe he would actually know that she was feeling sick, but she wouldn't bet on it.

She felt her heart fall down deep as she starred up into the icy eyes of House looking obviously frustrated, and the smug look of Ms.Ville.

"Hi…"She started softly and tried to look anywhere but in House's eyes, but she could see his eyes examining her face, waiting to catch her in a lie like he always did. He liked to analyze people, to understand how they worked, and why they did things.

She wasn't going to lie, but she didn't want to tell her the truth why she was running to the bathroom, she didn't want her to become suspicious and suddenly have her whole school know that she was going to be a teen mom.

He looked her over to see her reaction, to see what she would be feeling when he was there; if she knew that she would be in trouble. Instead he saw something else. He saw her timid, he saw her face become a flush white and her eyes glaze like she was scared, but sick.

Ms.Ville lead them to her office where she sat behind he desk, and pointed to the chairs in front of her desk.

She sat slowly, holding her stomach wincing in pain. He noticed.

"As you know, I called you from work to talk about the problem with Kay." She announced and House took his eyes away from Kay and looked up at her as she spoke, Kay however closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing slightly, to ease the pain.

"So what seems to be the problem?" House said dryly, not wanting to waste anymore of his time here, although he would rather be anywhere but the clinic.

"First of all she came in late for class, then she disrespected me in front of the class before she just ran from the class into the halls." She said hotly.

"I was going to the bathroom!" Kay shouted opening her eyes, scrunching her eyebrows together and biting her lip after in pain.

"Kay what's wrong?" House's anger stopped immediately and all his attention was brought back to helping his daughter, he would do anything for her.

"I'm fi"- she was cut off by an extreme pain that shot through her pelvis, her neck and shoulders, causing her to hunch over and clutch her stomach, tears rolling down her face moaning in shear pain.

**This is when you Review LOL. **


	32. Call an ambulance

Hey everyone, thank you for the reviews they are VERY much appreciated :D, you don't even know when I get reviews I want to put more up lol! .. Anyways on with the story because I left you with a cliffhanger last time and that wasn't very nice ;)

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

The pain intensified as she cried, stabbing pains shooting through her sides, and her lower abdomen.

He leaned down, the pain from his leg screaming at him to stop, but he kneeled and looked her straight in the eyes, "Kay, what's wrong?" His tone was serious and his face determined. There was something seriously at fault, and he would find out what it was.

She glanced up at him to take in his image, and what was there scared her, and she knew that she was in danger. Her heart pounded inside her chest with the mere thought of dying. She didn't want to die, not now when she had finally found her father, and she was living a life of somewhat normality.

That was her biggest fear, dying; it was a fear for her and her baby. Although the baby growing inside her wasn't one made of love, it was one that was there for a reason, she didn't know why, but it was there, and half of this baby was hers.

She gazed back up at him through blurred eyes, her face tormented with the sudden agony. "My stomach hurts!" She tried to yell between the gasps of air she was taking in.

The world around her spun as she felt the dizziness wash over her and the aches in her body pound.

"Kay we're going to call the ambulance!" Was what she heard last, and it had come from Ms.Ville's mouth. House was standing above her, his hand over her forehead brushing the loose strands of hair that were sticking to her damp face away, and feeling the fever that had started.

He prayed silently that she would be okay; that his daughter, the one he had just got the chance to know would be fine. God wasn't something that he usually would have believed in himself, but in moments of doubt you turn to your last bit of hope.

His eyes gleaming with tears she looked up at him, and was scared now not about dying, but about not having him with her, to protect her from what lay ahead.

She wasn't scared of dying; she was scared of losing him.

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**…no pressure.


	33. Don't hurt my baby

Hey everyone…thanks again for the reviews and here is another chapter, considering the last two I gave you were cliffhangers lol..i am so mean. Oh and about this chapter I hope I did the medical stuff justice because I really had to research for this, and hopefully this is an okay chapter, so review and let me know :D

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…**

Her bright blue eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the bright lights above her. She felt the dizziness wash over her again, still feeling faint from the spell she had earlier.

"Give her an hCG test now!" She could hear House yell, from beside her bed, she hadn't known there was anyone there until now, she was in her own little world, trying to figure out what had just happened to her.

"You really think its"- "All the signs are pointing to it!" House snapped back at Foreman interrupting him in mid sentence.

Concentrating on just House's voice she tried to hear what was going on, but it was no use with the pain of her abdomen screaming over and over again through her mind, along with the frantic beeping of the machines all around her.

"Her hCG levels are lower than expected for her stage of pregnancy…" Cameron replied, trying to sound as calm as possible through all the commotion going on all around them. "One step closer." House said, looking straight to Foreman, proving his point to be right.

House decided to go with the next best option other than doing an ultrasound next, wanting to use the best thing available to make sure he was a hundred percent right. "We are going to do an culdocentesis." The team looked at him, noticing he was serious and prepared the large syringe.

Kay noticed the syringe that was being held near her and she grasped into House's arm that was near the side of her bed. Her nails dug into his skin causing him to bleed she was clutching him so tightly. He grabbed her hand from his arm and held it in his, soothing her by stroking her cheek with his opposite hand; Chase would have to do the procedure, he needed Foreman to help hold her in place.

House kept his eyes locked on hers, trying to keep her from going into shock, while Foreman held her arms tightly and Cameron held onto her legs the best that she could. Chase inserted the needle, puncturing the vaginal wall near the midline between the uterus ligaments.

Kay's eyes flashed as she looked up at House pleading for them to stop, the pain was unbearable, she was in excruciating pain, and it hurt House to have to look into her eyes anymore, and he yelled for Chase to hurry up. "Please don't' hurt the baby!" She whispered to them, and everyone seemed to freeze in their spots, listening to the words that had just come out of her mouth echo in their heads, in a haunting ring.

Blood and fluids filled the syringe and everyone knew exactly what it was, a ruptured Ectopic Pregnancy, the baby was growing inside her fallopian tube.

"Schedule her for surgery." House demanded with his eyes distant, staring down at his little girl, who could have lost her life if they hadn't found this earlier.


	34. Not yours

Hey everyone..thank you again for the reviews, they make me very happy :)…Here is some DRAMA! Please review ;) hopefully you like this part.

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…**

Not a word escaped her mouth; only silent tears rolled smoothly over her colorless cheeks as she sat up and starred off into space, her mouth slightly open. Thoughts of everything that had happened in that day ran through her mind over and over, the thoughts showing in her face, as she looked away from the people that were standing in front of her bed, her lips pursed as she tightened her eyes and let more tears spill down.

Silence fell over the room as the team followed Wilson out of the room, and left Cameron to stand-alone. She awkwardly went to sit on the side of the bed and held her hand on top of Kay's, when Kay moved hers away quickly wanting no part of the comfort Cameron wanted to bring.

The silence was unbearable to Cameron as she made light conversation, trying to cheer her up after her surgery. Nothing seemed to be working; even after she had left and sent in Foreman and Chase to speak to her she still wouldn't let anything come from her mouth, not even a whisper.

After about an hour of trying everything they could do to get her to talk, they left her alone to the silence she so badly needed. She laid her head back on the pillow and bent her knees as she tried to get comfortable, with all the pain that was now coming to her, as the painkillers were wearing off.

With her right hand over her head and her left placed on top of her stomach she let out a gasp of air and tightened her grip on her stomach, the pain almost unbearable, the emotional, and the physical.

"You've got to be careful." He said barely above a whisper; if he hadn't grabbed her hand, pulling it away from her stomach, she wouldn't have heard him at all.

House had heard that she wasn't speaking from the ever-caring Cameron, and she had sent him here, against his will. He knew that Kay would be angry, upset, and in a lot of pain, and that wasn't something he wished on his own daughter, not anyone's.

She looked up at him through tear filled eyes and tried to keep herself quiet but she couldn't any longer, "I told you not to hurt my baby!" She yelled between the tears that fell and the knot in her throat that chocked her up.

"I"- House began to speak when someone from behind interrupted him.

"You had a baby?" He said in a venomous tone. "Its mine right, or could it be anyone's Kay?" He yelled coming closer to House and Kay.

Kay shuttered as she looked up at Gary who was coming to close for her liking. She stood to defend herself when House stood in front of her. "SECURITY!" he yelled as loud as he could trying to get any ones attention.

He reached around House and stood face to face with Kay, the two were seconds away from each other's faces, and she could feel his breath on her face. "It wasn't yours…" She said through gritted teeth, trying to keep herself from crying. He held his hand up to hit her, when House grabbed his hand and Kay slapped him hard across his face with the back of her hand.

The baby wasn't his, and it wasn't hers either, not anymore.


	35. Sleep

Sorry that this one is kind of short. Please Review :)

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…**

Broken was what she was afterwards, the feeling of losing everything you ever loved in a matter of months was one of the worst things that she could have ever imagined happening in her life, and even then she never really thought it would happen. She was broken more now than she had ever been in her entire life, and now she didn't know how to pick up the pieces that she called her life.

"Do you want a drink?" House asked from above the couch that she was lying on, holding onto her stomach in a fetal position trying to subside the pains that wouldn't go away, even with the painkillers that they had given her.

She shook her head meekly and closer her eyes as House sat down beside her and held his hand to the back of her head. He felt that she had a fever and went to get a cold cloth to put on her head when Kay stopped him, "No, don't go, stay." She looked up at him with her pleading blue eyes and waited for him to sit back down. When he did she placed her head on his lap and waited for his hand to fall back in place on her forehead.

She fell asleep and House's leg started to throb as he tried to reach for his vicodin bottle that was on the side table, but it was no use, he didn't want to wake her when she had already been woken up enough with his constant checking up on her, making sure she was alright, but now that she was here, he was going to let her sleep.  
A knock at the door brought House from his thoughts and he didn't dare get up and answer it, and he didn't want to yell for the person to come in, probably Wilson, because then he would wake her up anyways.

The person ended up opening the door and yelling inside, "House!"  
"Ssshhh!" House hissed and pointed at Kay sleeping as Wilson made his way inside, and with a surprise visitor, Dr. Allison Cameron.  
Wilson looked amused at the sight before him, he never thought he would see the day when House would turn soft, but there it was.  
Wilson exchanged glances between House and Cameron and saw the look in his best friends eyes that showed that he was both happy and nervous that Cameron was there, and to cover that up he was going to resort to sarcasm.

Cameron could see it coming as well and she decided to start, "Your probably wondering why I am here…" "You could say that," House intervened. "Well I'm not here for you if that's what you are wondering, I'm here for Kay, but I can see she is sleeping, so I uh, I will go…" She said shyly, blushing profusely seeing House in the position that he was with his daughter, looking so fatherly made her feel strange, but somehow gave her a sense of reassurance at the same time.


	36. Panic sets in

Hey Everyone here is another post! Woohoo. Anyways I'm sorry that some of these are a little short, but I will try and post more often :) Oh yeah and thank you for the reviews…here is some more

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…**

"No stay…," Kay whispered as she stifled a yawn with her hand. She sat up slowly trying to not to jostle herself, as House told her to take it easy, and that she shouldn't be moving around a whole lot, after her surgery.

Cameron smiled weekly at her not knowing quite what to say once she was faced with the opportunity, although Kay wasn't paying much attention to what any of them were saying to her at this point in time, as her head pounded if she even moved it an inch and her stomach had cramped up tightly when she had sat up.

House had moved from the couch and was leaning on the counter downing two vicodin; his leg sore from having Kay lay on it for all that time. He silently watched her from the kitchen making sure she was alright, and watching her interaction with the other two in the room.

Kay stood up from the couch, not hearing any of the words that were going on around her, she was ignoring everyone, trying to block out their voices, as every time they spoke their voices penetrated inside her head. All eyes were on her, as Cameron and Wilson had heard about the rule House had laid down about her being on bed rest, because he was so over protective.

Kay looked through foggy eyes as she rubbed them and made her way to the counter, when she froze and held her stomach in pain. She tried to keep her facial expression as normal as possible not to cause any suspicion, but everyone could see through it. "Kay are you okay?" Cameron asked coming over to her side to look her in the eyes. "I'm fine!" Kay snapped turning her body to get away from Cameron and quickly making her way to the kitchen counter.

Kay stood beside House near the counter and held her hand over her eyes, taking in deep breathes as her whole body shook with the pain that ran through it. She looked up and could feel the tears stinging her eyes, and didn't bother to wipe them away as she reached for her pills. Houses hand got to them first and he moved them out of reach from her. She turned around quickly on her heal almost falling in the process and House catching her, holding onto her forearms as she looked up into his eyes, her vision blurred.

Her breathing quickened as she reached for her pills that House had placed on the counter, and her chest started to feel like it was tightening more and more every second, She gasped for air and Cameron screamed, "Give her the damn pills House!" House shot her a look and grabbed Kay tight in his arms, as she fell faint and limp. "This is not from the surgery." He said slowly.

Wilson jumped up quickly out of his seat, and grabbed Kay in his arms and helped House bring her to her room, laying her down on the bed to rest. Her breathing quickened again, and she felt as if she was choking. Wilson and Cameron left when House told them too, not wanting to get in his way, but being tempted to give their medical advice.

She looked up at House and through her gasps of air whispered, "Am I going to die?" tears ran down from her eyes and House caught them with his fingers as he stroked her cheeks and instructed her to breath through her nose. "I can't…" she cried as she tried to catch her breath. "Kay listen to me," House looked straight down into her eyes and pushed her hair away from her face as he sat beside her on the bed, "You have to try." He tried to stay calm as he spoke to her, but he knew she was having a panic attack and he was scared out of his mind.

**Remember to review! ….please **:)


	37. What did you take?

**AN: Hey everyone, I decided to put two chapters together here because they were a bit short…anyways enjoy and if you read PLEASE review. I hope you all like it :) **

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…**

He gently laid his over her mouth to stop her from choking and persuaded her to breath from her nose. Inside he was going crazy, his heart ached as he looked down at her red and swollen eyes glistening with tears, and the look of fear written across her face. She truly thought she was going to die, and he didn't want those thoughts to even cross her mind.

"Kay breath." He continued as she pushed up against his hand, her hands grasping his wrist. He took his hand away and she pulled away from him, keeping contact with him the entire time, not wanting to look away from him, not wanting to miss him for one second. She closed her mouth and breathed in heavily through her nose, watching House's face for any sign of problems, but of course he kept calm and wouldn't let her see him panic; she let go of the breath slowly through her mouth letting out a small cry at the same time.

House sat up on the bed with his back against the wall and Kay laid her head against his chest, "Daddy what's wrong with me?" She asked him as she continued taking deep breaths through her nose and out her mouth. "Nothing you're going to be okay." House reassured her as he rubbed his own temples trying to get rid of the migraine that had formed in the short time. Kay listened to the beating of House's heart, the pounding slowing down after a short while. She always hated listening to people's heartbeats, as she listened she would always be listening for the next beat hoping it would come.

Her eyes drifted slightly as she looked up at House, "Do you think I should see my doctor about this?" She asked as she yawned and her breathing became steady. "Seeing your psychiatrist about this wouldn't be a bad idea…" He said a little too seriously and it caught her off guard, she looked up at him glaring with a look that said, 'you have got to be kidding me.' "I was talking about you! I was just joking; you really think this is a problem, so you lied when you said that nothing was wrong with me?" Kay began yelling, pushing herself up from House with somewhat of a struggle. When she stood up House did as well, trying to stop her, but she started to run down the hall and locked herself in the bathroom. She knew it was cruel to run from him, but she had to be away from him, if not only just for a moment.

She sat up against the bath tub, the porcelain cold against her back and the floor against her legs. She breathed in and out trying to keep calm while she didn't have House to help her through it. She heard pounding on the door and House's voice boom through the door. "Kay open the door!" he demanded in a fatherly tone. She didn't respond to him, instead she stood up and looked at herself in the mirror, looking into her eyes to see if she could find any part of her old self, just one part that she could remember from her past, but all of it seemed to be gone along with her mother, and she wished she could have it back.

Her eyes heart pleading with her to stop, but her mind telling her to grab the pills, she opened the medicine cabinet and peered in at all the contents. There was that little orange bottle, the one with the white tablets, his medicine. She grasped it in her hand and brought it toward her eyes, opening the top with a small tug and a twist. She sat back down on the ground and emptied some of the pills into her hands; she held one in her fingertips and placed in on her tongue, reveling in the bitter taste that came from it. Two more and she placed the rest back into the bottle, and placed the bottle back where it belonged, none to be the wiser.

She sat on the edge of the tub and closed her eyes down hard as she could hear House outside the door, banging furiously, and yelling at the top of his lungs; she didn't want to face him.

"Kay I'm coming in…" House spoke with a sense of ease now in his voice, but the anger still present. He had gotten the bathroom key, but didn't know if he should invade her privacy.

He opened the door slowly and caught the first glimpse of her sitting on the tub, with her eyes facing the floor, she didn't want to look up at him, or he would know what was going on.

Kay stood up and broke the silence, her gaze still at the floor starring at the details in the ceramic. "I don't want to talk." She said bluntly and brushed past him, his hand catching her shoulder on the way, "You're going to have to sooner or later." His voice showed no emotion, just like the way he was before, back to being himself, the supposable non caring House.

She walked into the living room with a sway in her step, feeling dizzier by the second, but the pain in her dramatically easing away as those seconds continued to fly by.

She sat down on the couch, House shadowing her, sitting down by her side. "Can't I have a moment's peace," she cried, not really wanting the response of the now furious House. She looked at him for just a second but he caught her face in his hands, stern look in his eyes and panic gripped her once again as she tried to pull away but couldn't, "What did you take?" He asked touching the sided of her eyes with his thumbs. "What do you"- Before she could finish House interrupted her glaring straight into her eyes, Kay wanting so badly to look away, but not being able to get away from the grip he had on her. "What did you take?" House boomed, causing her eye lids to flutter closed and open again with a new round of tears spilling from underneath them.

Kay felt her heart jump into her throat as she answered, "Tylenol…" She answered knowing that he would catch her in the lie, but daring to take the risk anyways. He let go of the grip he had on her face and stood up. "I am not going to say this again, what did you take?" House was yelling louder than ever, and it scared her to see him this mad, and he could see that fear looming in her eyes.

She couldn't speak, the words were taken from her and she just sat there on the couch staring at him, half because of the vicodin, and half from feeling like a complete fool. All she could do was let the cries that were stuck in her chest escape her as she looked up into his piercing blue eyes.

She watched him limp away and come back a few minutes later with the bottle in his hand. "Is this what you took?" He asked putting the bottle in front of her face for a closer inspection, getting his point across clear.

Kay nodded an agreement and House stood there unable to do anything else, what could he do, he had never been father before and all these obstacles seemed to be coming his way all at once. He had to leave the room, just to get his mind clear.

**Please please review :) and i will post another as soon as possible :)**


	38. Little drug addict

**A/N: Hey everybody! Thank you so much for the reviews once again:).. i love them lol. Anyways i said i would post another asap and here it is! ENJOY! and reviews are great..thanks :)**

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU...**

The door slammed behind her, the crisp air, biting at her cheeks, turning them a rosy red that made her look beautiful. Her lips quivered as she breathed in deeply and let it back out into the dark sky. Snow fell now, it fell over her, catching in her eyelashes, melting and joining her tears.

Her breath hitched as she caught her breath once more and looked out into the night sky. "Cameron," she spoke softly, letting the air that dragged out from the words fog the sky.

She pushed herself away from the door, which she had been leaning on. She crossed her arms over her chest, rubbing her hands up and down to warm herself. "Kay," Cameron said back, with a small smile that showed she cared, and was worried about what she was going through.

She stepped forward and pulled Kay into a hug, resting her own head against hers, letting her hands smooth out her hair. Kay didn't respond quite as fast, she waited for a moment until she knew that she could trust her, and she wrapped her arms around her waist and let her head fall onto her chest, her tears staining Cameron's shirt.

She pulled her head away and looked into Cameron's eyes; she smiled slightly to be polite and pulled away, her hands still grasped onto Cameron's wrists. "Why are you here?" she asked quietly, trying not to sound rude, seeing how many times her own dad had already done that to this girl.

"I wanted to see if you were okay, you scared us all you know." Cameron said as she let her hand rest on Kay's shoulder. Kay felt her tears sting her eyes once again, 'she had been crying too much', she supposed. "I know," she whispered, "I guess I've been doing that a lot lately." Kay now looked away, embarrassed how childish she had been over the past few months of being here.

"Don't worry I know how you feel…" Cameron trailed off not looking in Kay's eyes, the intense gaze that she had with her piercing blue eyes was almost frightening, and as if she was scared she would suddenly turn into House and make some rude comment.

Kay was about to shoot back her usual comeback when someone said that to her, 'no one knows how I feel', but maybe Cameron did know, and she wanted to find out.

House sat starring at the bottle in his hands after he had popped two of the tablets into his mouth and swallowed. He cursed under his breath and threw the bottle against the wall, watching the tablets fall like snow throughout his room.

He leaned heavily on his cane as he limped down the hall in search of Kay to apologize. He felt the need to, now, but later maybe he could talk to her, maybe. He could hear her talking out on the porch to someone but he didn't know who. He opened the door quickly hoping to catch her with a boy, but found her and Cameron now sitting on the porch talking to one another like schoolgirls.

"Uh-did I miss something?" House asked with a slight smirk on his face to see Cameron there. That feeling that he got when she was there scared him, just looking at her could send chills down his spine, although you would never be able to tell as he could cover up his feelings with anything.

Kay had a slight smirk on her face, the same one as House's, 'like father like daughter' Cameron thought as she looked between the two of them. "Nope just this really cool club meeting on the porch in the cold-it's really fun." Kay smiled, her words slightly slurred as the smirk on her face became permanent and she couldn't stop giggling. "Well if that's all…" House smiled and went to leave them in the cold. He turned around at the last minute to see Kay holding her hands up to the sky and letting the snow fall down on them. "Actually I think you two should come inside."

Cameron stood up wiping off the snow that stuck to the back of her pants with her hands. "Actually I better be goi"- "No way Cammie stay! We will watch a movie…right dad?" Kay smiled up at House. "Fine Cameron can stay, but only because Daisy cancelled on me tonight." He had a smug look on his face as he starred at Cameron then back at Kay who was looking him straight in the eyes with a serious look plastered across her face, "Who's Daisy, you haven't told me about her!" 'The vicodin was obviously taking affect' House thought as they walked inside, with Cameron giggling and Kay being quiet confused.

Cameron sat down on one end of the couch and House on the other leaving a large gap for Kay to sit in between. She moved her way over to the couch and moved her hands gently over the back stopping at House and looking at him, knowing he was infuriated by the way she had acted, but somehow willing to forgive. She smiled at him and kept on walking with a spring in her step and slumped down into the recliner that was beside the couch. Cameron looked at House and then to Kay, "Aren't you going to sit here?" She asked with a bit of nervousness showing in her voice.

"Nope, I like the recliner better." Kay said with a smile that showed her gleaming white teeth that made her smile perfect. She pulled the handle on the side of the chair and fell backwards almost being completely upside down, when she adjusted it and looked toward House and Cam, they were slowly inching their way closer to each other as if the gap between them was too far to be apart.

Kay grinned at this, thinking that Cam would be the perfect person to be around when things got rough, knowing House could never keep control of his temper, and never wanted to talk about his feelings with anyone, not even her.

When the movie had ended Kay was the only one still awake, seeing Cam's head rested against House's shoulder and her hand placed against his chest. 'Cute', she thought as she stood from the recliner and made her way to the floor to sit right in front of the T.V to watch the bloopers.

Her eyes stung from the glare of the T.V by the time she heard House awake, and she was now lying on her back on the piano bench with her hair sprawled onto the ground as she craned her neck to still see the T.V.

House moved Cameron slightly and stood rubbing his leg. "Bed time." He announced as he walked by Kay and tickled her stomach, sending her into a fit of laughter waking Cameron. "Oh-what time is it?" Cameron asked a little bit surprised that she was still in House's apartment.

"Bed time." Kay answered as she walked slightly off balance past Cam and into the kitchen where House stood. She smiled up at him, that loving smile that he couldn't resist when he was mad at her. He smiled a small smile back at her and kissed her on the head, "Night kiddo." She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck and reached up on her tip toes to kiss his forehead, "I love you daddy." She still had the same grin on that she had before. "I love you too my little drug addict." House smiled and patted her back signaling it was really rime for bed; doing his fatherly duties. Cameron watched the whole scene between father and daughter the sight between the two of them, the certain bond they had was something that she had always wanted with her father, but she had never had the chance to have.

**Please _review_ and tell me what you think :)**


	39. drugs sex rock and roll

**A/N: Thank you for the awesome reviews and here is a bit of drama as requested. Not much but more is to come:) Keep the reviews coming I love 'em! **

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…**

House watched Kay walk to her bedroom before turning back to Cameron and smiling nervously at her. "I guess I should get going…" Cameron trailed off as she stood and made her way to the door. House came to stand beside her as she opened the door to leave. Snow flew through the door and hit Cameron and House in the face, making Cameron slam the door closed as quickly as possible, turning to look at House. "I thought you were leaving?" House said as he chuckled at his own joke under his breath.

"Jerk," Cameron laughed as she playfully smacked House's chest, leaving her hand to rest there as she made her way to his eyes. He looked at her skeptically before he leaned his head to her level and stroked her face with his rough hand, the touch of his hand on her sending chills down Cameron's spine. He moved away from her feeling the moment falling deep too fast, there was lots of time, but now was not the right time for this to happen.

"You will have to stay here, you can uh-stay in Kay's room with her," he said, the joking now gone from his voice and the more serious side of him taking over. He walked down the hall and Cameron followed suit. When he opened the door Kay was asleep on her stomach with her head and arms plopped onto the ground and her legs twisted on top of the bed. "What the hell?" House said as he watched her sleep, followed by Cameron trying to stop laughing at the sight by covering her mouth with her hand.

House made his way over to the side of Kay's bed and patted her back to wake her up. She opened one eye and groaned, "I can't go to school today dad!" House raised an eyebrow at her and smirked, "I was wondering if Cameron could sleep in here with you, seems like you have got enough room…" House trailed off as Kay interrupted, "No way! Why can't she sleep with you? Your bed is way bigger than mine!" She stifled a yawn as she spoke and pulled herself back onto the bed making herself comfortable.

House could almost see Cameron's eyes widen from across the room at that comment, 'she sure is witty when she's on drugs' House thought. "I could sleep on the couch!" Cameron almost yelled this at House as he looked over at her with that usual grouchy look on his face. "No mommy's right I should share," House spoke in his most childish voice making Cameron laugh, but could see her shifting back and forth feeling uncomfortable.

House led the way to his room and told her she could use the bathroom if she wanted to get dressed, but she interrupted him, "I uh-I don't have anything to wear." She was stuttering and she tried to stop herself but she couldn't. "Well I guess you could wear one of my shirts." He handed her a shirt that read 'Rolling Stones' and she smiled, having seeing him wear this once before.

When she came from the bathroom she noticed House was already wearing a t-shirt and some pajama bottoms, and noticing he looked rather nice in them too, she loved that rugged look about him.

He couldn't help but stare at her when she came from the bathroom wearing 'only' his t-shirt and some booty short undies underneath. She was pulling the shirt down over her trying to cover as much as she could from House's view, trying not to be obvious that she actually wanted to show herself off in front of him, use herself as bait.

"Looks better on me!" House said from the bed and smiled as he pulled the sheets over him. Cameron stuck out her tongue at him laughing as she spoke, "Maybe, But I don't think you have the whole ensemble." She had raised her eyebrow and was smirking at him now suggestively. "What do you mean?" House asked genuinely confused by what she had said.

Cameron turned around and lifted the shirt to reveal the writing across the bum of her black undies, 'Rolling Stones', it read. House had to laugh as she turned back around and he noticed how red her face was from doing that. "Are you on drugs again Dr. Cameron?" House asked as he waved his hand for her to come to bed.

Kay tossed and turned in bed, the light that creeped through her windows not allowing her to have any more sleep for that night, besides it was already 9 and her alarm clock kept wailing at her every 5 minutes for the past 2 hours.

She threw her hand over the alarm clock and heard it fall onto the ground, the alarm turning off and the clock stuck on 9:01. Swinging her legs over the bed and running her hands through her tangled messy brown hair, she stood and looked herself over in the mirror…it was safe to say she looked like hell.

Kay knew she had some explaining to do and she couldn't really remember some things from the night before, so she really hoped that she hadn't said anything too stupid.

Pulling on her torn jeans and her favorite black long sleeved v neck shirt with the hood she glided her feet against the ground shuffling towards the kitchen.

After eating two bananas and drinking a cup of tea she realized that it wasn't the weekend and that House had to get to work…how her mind went awfully slow in the mornings. She ran down the hall as fast as she could, tripping on her pants every few steps and flung open the door only to see Cameron lying in bed next to her dad and with his rolling stones t shirt on to boot.

Kay's mouth must have dropped to the ground as she could even say the words dad get up before she held her hands to her mouth, her eyes growing wide.

House opened his eyes and looked up at Kay with her hands over her mouth as she laughed. "What are you doing?" He asked groggily, sounding a bit irritated that she had woken him. He looked to his side as he heard Cameron yawn and almost jumped from the bed as he remember that she had stayed with him last night. Nothing had happened, but it had felt so right to have her beside him.

Kay started to giggle as she saw Cameron's and her dad's face go beat red, and that was unusual for House to be embarrassed. "I just wanted to tell you that you are extremely late for work…both of you." Kay chuckled to herself as she ran from the room and closed the door behind her. 'I certainly don't remember her staying over', she thought to herself as she brushed on some blush in the bathroom mirror.

When House dropped Kay off at school it was 9:15, and she certainly did not expect to be dropped off here. "I thought I was going to work with you today?" She looked disappointed and House could see it in her eyes as she looked away from him out the window. "You had to go back sometime," House was talking like a father, and she wasn't sure yet if she liked that or not.

"I'm not going in!" Kay protested with House as she crossed her arms in the seat and put her feet upon the seat. His hand immediately came across to put her feet down, 'not in my precious vette', he thought.

"Well then we are going to sit here all day." And with those words House turned off the car and sat starring at her. "What are you doing?" She asked looking at him like he was a complete idiot. "Well if you aren't going in I guess we have to stay here," House wasn't talking with sarcasm, but she knew what he meant.

"I want to go to work with you, I'm not better yet, my tummy hurts," she pouted as she said the last three words looking at him like he was just born yesterday.

"Don't lie to me Kay, out of the car and get to class." House was now glaring at her with his blue eyes. "I love you!" he called to her as she slammed the car door and ran up the snowy hill to her school.


	40. skipping and toboganning

**Hey everyone, sorry that i haven't posted in a while, but here is some more :) i hope that you like it! please review if you can and tell me what you think of it :D**

* * *

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU...**

When House arrived at work he limped into the conference room without one glance towards Cameron, seeing her wear his rolling stones shirt under her suit made him laugh. In fact Chase and Foreman had thrown some comments at her when she had walked in, implying that she was now even trying to look like House. She simply rolled her eyes and made herself a hot cup of coffee, not getting any at House's seeing he had to run out of the house and bring Kay to school as she got dressed and left in her own car.

"Okay we have no cases so Foreman and Chase get down to the clinic…" House said as he turned to pour himself some coffee and pop two vicodin into his mouth.

"Why do we have to go and not Cameron?" Chase asked while flipping his hair from his face, and Foreman just stood there and waited for the comment that was sure to follow.

"She's prettier than you!" House smirked at Chase. "I thought I was the prettiest?" Chase asked as he walked towards the door now. "Jealous are we? Look at her shirt! You can't compete with the Rolling Stones Dr. Chase!" House cocked his head over to Cameron and Chase's and Foreman's eyes both followed it to look at her. "Yeah the mini House, now all she needs is a cane." Foreman said as he now started for the door.

House threw his cane to Cameron and fell a little off balance, but steadied himself with a chair. "There now she looks just like me!" House stated with an even bigger smirk than before.

When they were finally alone Cameron smiled at House, "Sorry I had to wear it, I had no clean clothes." Her eyes lit up at the sight of him this morning, remembering how it felt to lay beside him the other night.

"Well it already had your cooties all over it, so I guess its okay." House chuckled to himself as he downed the rest of his coffee and went into his office, where Cameron followed to sort his mail.

Kay walked past some of her classes but didn't bother go in any of them, she didn't feel like going to school today so she decided she would take it upon herself and not go.

She opened up her locker and grabbed all her books so that when she went back to the hospital where she met House she would have all her things. While taking out her math book all her other books fell to the ground and when she bent down to get them she heard a familiar voice beside her, "need any help." She looked up to the speaker and realized it was a girl named Sarah that was in her chemistry class, she was quiet like her so it was strange they had never spoke before.

Sarah had bright blonde hair, sunny hair, her face was tanned like Kay's and her eyes were a bright green that could stand out from anywhere; Kay was quiet surprised that she wasn't one of the 'popular' girls that she hated so much.

"Yeah thanks, your Sarah right?" She smiled at her as they placed her books into her bag. "Yup and your Kay, were in the same chemistry class." Sarah was leaning against Kay's locker now waiting for Kay to stand up too. When she did Sarah brought out her hand in front of her and Kay took it is her to shake it. "Want to skip class with me?" Kay asked with a small smirk forming on her lips, the same one House had. "Sure, I'm not really up for class today anyways." Sarah smiled back at Kay and they walked to the cafeteria together to get something to eat.

When Kay left school she didn't really want it to end now that she had met someone to share it with, instead of being the one always to sit by herself. Sarah told her she would go on the bus with her and go to the hospital with her, but Kay told her it was okay, knowing if she missed the appointment with her psychiatrist that House would be even grouchier.

Kay walked into House's office after her meeting with the doctor and sat in his chair. "Hi." She smiled at him and waiting for him to look away from his game boy. "How was school?" he asked right away and Kay squirmed a bit in her chair, "It was really good, I met a new friend named Sarah." "Woo thank God I thought you would be a loser for life!" House chuckled under his breath and put down his game when Kay had came up to him and hit him hard in the arm.

House looked up at her now his face serious," Did you learn anything?" he looked at her his eyes were searching hers and she smiled slightly. "Yeah I learned a lot!" she turned away from him but was back facing him when he swung her around to face him again, "Like how to skip class I'm assuming by the all I got from your school 15 minutes ago?"

Kay pulled her arm away from House and her face turned cold, "I'm going home." She started to walk towards the door when Cameron walked in, "Stop her!" House yelled to Cameron and she stood in front of the door blocking Kay's way." House you are acting like she is a criminal!" Cameron screamed as Kay tried to push her out of the way. "Kay your not going home you have to stay here, I can't leave you unsupervised, especially with all the vicodin in the house," he mumbled the last part.

"Ugh! Fine, I'm going to see Wilson, he's nicer than you anyways!"She huffed as she ran from the room.

"Well that was fun," House smirked at Cameron as she made her way across the room and sat in his chair. "What was that all about?" She looked at him like he was crazy for disciplining his own child. "She skipped all her classes today…and then she told me she wanted to go home." Cameron looked over at him analyzing the way he was actually talking to her seriously about his child troubles and laughed," She's a teenager what did you expect?"

Cameron now stood and was making her way into the conference room to grab some coffee. "One that was trained," House sighed as he followed Cameron to also grab some coffee.

"Give her time, she'll come around." Cameron spit her coffee back into her mug when she saw Kay talking up a storm to Wilson who was laughing at her as she flailed her arms around in a dramatic fashion. "Remind me to never use that mug," House mocked a disgusted face and turned to see Wilson and Kay walk into the room hearing the tail end of their conversation.

"So you skipped the whole day to go tobogganing…sounds like something House would do." Wilson chuckled as he made poured himself some coffee and sat down with House and Cameron, Kay following making sure to sit between Cameron and Wilson.

"Nice, Encourage her why don't you," House rolled his eyes at Wilson as Kay started to explain what happened next in her story. "We went down this huge hill and Sarah was steering and we ran right smack into a tree!" Kay smacked her hands together as she imitated the sound that the toboggan made when it collided into the tree.

"That must have hurt," Wilson laughed as he sipped at his coffee. "No not really, but I got this huge scrape on my leg, want to see it?" Her eyes lit up and she pulled up her pants to reveal a giant cut on her leg that was covered with two blood soaked band aids. 'She's like a child still,' Wilson thought as she picked at the band aids. 'Probably because she never truly had a real life before with Kyra', he thought has he watched her intently, smiling at everything she did and said.


	41. Too hard

**A/N: Hey everyone i am SOOO sorry that i have been taking so long to post. I have had so much to do-assignments and homework and stupid school stuff lol. Anyways i hope it was worth the wait and you will all still be reading :)..please review and tell me your thoughts. Constructive cristiscm is welcome. again so sorry for the wait. **

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU...**

Kay suddenly tilted up her head and gazed at house with a smug look, her eyes gleaming as she thought of something to get back at him. House watched her attentively as a smile crept is way onto her lips, "So how are you two love birds doing anyways?" She kept a straight face the entire time, placing her chin in her hands where he elbows rested against the table for effect.

Cameron looked at House who had his eyes locked on Kay, his lips tight and his eye brows wrinkles, the lines in his forehead looking to become deeper every second. Kay smiled at this. 'This will get him back," she actually giggled to herself as she watched how upset House was becoming, for some odd reason she wasn't scared, 'what was the worse he could do, ground her?' She laughed at the thought.

Wilson chocked on his coffee and cocked his head towards Kay, then looking back to House and Cameron seated beside each other, Cameron's eyes and mouth wide open staring at Kay. "What are you talking about Kay?" Wilson laughed as he asked this, knowing that it had to be come sick joke, nothing this good could ever happen, but then he thought, 'with House everything is a surprise.'

Kay looked at Wilson arching her perfect brows and staring at him in disbelief, she hit his arm and laughed, "Come on Wilson, I thought you would be the first to notice, look at her shirt, remind you of anyone else's? These two even"- Kay leaned in to come closer to Wilson's ear when House grabbed her by the shirt and brought her into his office.

Cameron and Wilson stole glances into House's office watching the scene play out, glass walls had their advantages.

House's grip didn't let go out Kay's shirt as they stood inches apart from one another in front of his desk, House looking down at Kay with his piercing blue eyes that dared her to say something and her looking up at him with the same eyes, but instead they sparkled inside, looking quite amused at the situation.

House let go of her shirt, "Sit!" It was a demand. She knew when he was serious by now, she knew when she should obey and when not to obey, but sometimes she needed to, only to see how far she could push the limits and so far she had gotten nowhere.

She sat slowly, keeping her gaze on him the entire time, making sure she didn't break the eye contact she had with him, 'I'm not afraid of him.' 'I can do this.' She thought inwardly as she tried her hardest not to look away under his enraged stare.  
She blinked hard and took in a deep breath trying to calm her nerves, she could feel herself sweating, 'I can do this.' She repeated it to herself once again, blinking hard again as she swallowed feeling as if she was about to vomit.

He kneeled down to her level and looked her in the eyes, his arms around her holding himself up on the arms of the chair. "This can't go on like this." He said in a steady voice, that surprised him and Kay both, and even Wilson and Cameron in the other room, they had expected House to start yelling the moment he opened his mouth.

She kept her mouth shut as she blinked once more, feeling the sweat on her brows heavier this time. Then she looked away feeling that she couldn't do this anymore, she swallowed again, and the vomit was coming again. She could feel her stomach turning over, and the feeling wasn't nice. 'I can do this.' She said once more to herself as she swallowed hard and looked at him.

"It will go on for as long as I make it go on." Her face was set cold, she had never heard herself talk like that before, and it scared her that she could be like this. 'Stop it, stop it,' she now told herself. Her head lolled to the side and she rested her cheek on her own shoulder looking at the wall, feeling ashamed of how low she had become, of how much she had changed from what she was like before.

House stood now and she looked up at him, tears falling down her face, leaving a trail of imperfection in her small face. Her hands shook as she wiped away the tears that fell. Her eyes closed and she could feel the tears leak from under her lashes. The thump of his cane on the ground brought her to open her eyes. She tried to speak but her lips couldn't stop quivering with all the feelings that were flowing through her.

She watched him limp into the conference room, 'he was leaning heavier on his cane today,' she thought as she watched him stop and speak to the ducklings before walking out the door and down to the clinic, 'he was mad,' she thought and tilted her head back, closing her eyes and listening to the pounding of her head pound.

What she missed when she closed her eyes was the look Wilson and Cameron gave her when House walked away, the shock in Wilson's eyes and the concerned look in Cameron's.

"So did you and House really?" Wilson tried to lighten the mood as he broke his gaze with Kay and now smirked at Cameron. She blushed and smiled back, "Nothing happened, I only spent the night," she laughed.

She sat there. She waited for him to come back from the clinic, but he didn't. He was avoiding her and she knew it; 'maybe it was for the best,' she thought. Turning her attention to her surroundings she glanced around looking for something to do. A yo-yo, his computer, his T.V, 'ah the game boy,' she smiled.

She played a game called Yoshi's Island, she had played it before so she knew how to beat all the levels; she had seen House struggling with it and getting frustrated with it the past few days trying to beat the last level. She beat it in 10 minutes, a new record for her.

'Nothing to do,' she searched her surrounding again, fixing her eyes on the picture she saw sticking from his bag behind his desk. Curiosity running in the family she leaned down and pulled it from the bag, her heart pleading with her brain to stop because she knew she shouldn't be going through his stuff.

The picture lay in her hands, her small fingers running over the edges as she looked at the scene in the picture. Her heart melted. Tears ran from her eyes again and she wiped them away quickly, they looked so happy; she hadn't ever seen him that happy.

Her face lit up with a smile as she starred into the eyes of her mother and House sitting on a swing, her mother in his lap-'before his leg.' Her heart dropped suddenly thinking of the pain that he must have gone through with his leg, and still is. She sniffed and wiped her eyes once more trying to memorize the picture before she put it away.

As she stood back up she saw someone come in from the corner of her eye and her heart leapt inside thinking it was him. "Hey your dad wants me to bring you home, he's working late." He said calmly, like everything was alright, but why was he suddenly letting her go home alone.

She smiled at Wilson and picked up her back pack that was lying on the couch, and they were on their way. The ride home was pure silence, Wilson not knowing was to say, and Kay not wanting to speak incase she started to cry.

She ran up the stairs to the apartment as fast as she could like a child. He watched her from the car knowing what was going to happen. She reached the door and he saw her fling open the door almost triumphantly, only to see her freeze in her spot and fall to her knees, sitting on her feet and leaning against the doorframe.

He came up from behind her know his head hung low, knowing he should have told her; gave her some indication that this is what was happening. He kneeled down on the ground behind her, his hand over her shoulder and his head against hers. Her weight fell against him, holding onto his arm as she sobbed, the tears staining his shirt as he hushed her.

He parked, and he realized then that he was too early. He saw her on the ground her head buried on Wilson's arm; he hated the sight of it. He gripped his cane tight and made his way to the top of the stairs standing tall above the both of them. Thumping his cane a few times caught her attention and she sniffed. Blinking hard to stop herself form crying she wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve and stood up, her back facing House looking over the apartment before she picked up two of her bags and turned around. Her eyes didn't meet his, she walked past him and his cane stopped her in front of him. He could hear her breathing hitch as she looked past him and out the door. "This will go on for as long as you make it go on." 'Bastard!' she thought as she wrinkled her forehead and looked into his eyes, lingering for a moment before she pushed hard against his cane and moved past him.

He watched as she sat on the bottom steps, he could hear the echoes of her cries from at the top and they broke his heart, but he wasn't going to back down. Wilson shot House a look before he walked past him. House grabbed his shoulder staring straight into Wilson's eyes, "Take good care of her for me." Wilson could hear his voice crack, House wasn't one to get emotional, but Kay was taking a toll on him. He nodded and went to meet Kay.


	42. Tears

**Wow so i haven't posted in about a million years, because i had this story on a different site then lost it! but then it was found again so now i can update ALOT! like almost every night, but that depends on the amount of reviews i get, which i hope i get alot more than before. But thank you to the people who have reviewed before and read before, and hopefulyl you will continue to read and review**

**Thanks**

**ISH**

**

* * *

**

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU…

**The First Night without him**

Dinner was on the table and she was all alone. Screeches from the fork gliding across the plate echoed thorough the quiet kitchen, and noise traveled quickly in this House. Yelling came from the master bedroom, first her then him, more of her and more of him in a hushed voice.

She watched them come from the room with smiled plastered on their faces, hers fake, his real. She looked at them from the corner of her eye keeping her head down towards her plate where she moved the food from one area to the next.

Kay looked up at the both of them as they sat, pretending to be that happy couple that she knew they weren't, she had heard comments come from House about their marriage one too many times. "May I be excused?" She asked. Her voice was small then, keeping it small so that she wouldn't feel the urge to cry.

A nod from Wilson and she stood and slowly made her way down the hall, running her hands gently over the surface of the wall. She stooped at a picture. Looking at it her heart raced. She turned away furrowing her eyebrows towards the picture and slammed the door to her 'room'.

Falling down onto the sheets she could smell him on it, his cologne and the smell of his soap…she loved that smell. She decided that he must have spent quite a few nights here for it to have smelled of him, and she hands run over them.

She looked to the floor to her bags and then to the ceiling. She stared at the clock; he would probably be playing the piano right now. She smiled at the thought remembering how she would hum in her room to the tune he was playing.

"House should take care of his own problems, not just hand them off to you!" Kay sat up when she heard the yelling start up again, and Julie was sure mad. Knowing that you weren't wanted wasn't a good feeling-'but I have nowhere to go', she thought.

"He's just having problems right now; he needs to clear his head." It was Wilson's turn to talk now. 'Yeah right, that's what he was doing-all he wanted was to get rid of me.' She shook her head and laid her head back into the pillow, picking up strands of her hair, it was long now, past her shoulders and almost to her mid stomach.

She let the hair fall back down onto herself as she sat up quickly in the bed, crossing her legs as she starred into the face of Wilson at the door. A slight smile came to her face as soon as it disappeared and she fell back down into the sheets. "What do you want?" She asked dryly, staring up at the ceiling her eyes away from his.

He was caught off guard of how much she was like House at that moment, then when he paused and she sat up giving him that look, the one House gave, that 'you came here to tell me something, so what are you waiting for' look. He shook his head and sat down on the edge of the bed looking her in the eyes as hard as that was to do. He rubbed the back of his neck and started to talk, "Sorry you had to hear that…" he started but didn't finish pointing his head towards the door. "Hear what?" She said playing innocent, looking at him like she had no clue as to what he was talking about.

"Don't pull a House on my here, I just wanted to say sorry and to tell you that House is allowing you to go back whenever you are ready." He looked at her like this was big news…not to her. "I wasn't ever ready to leave; I was never ready for any of this." She whispered as she spoke, feeling tears pricking at her already sore eyes.

"I know its hard for him too," he was being sincere with her, but how come she felt like she was being played like he was going to tell House whatever she said, 'I don't care ,' she thought, 'let him tell him anything he wants.' "I didn't mean now I meant I wasn't ready to leave her." She looked up at him, becoming completely unlike House in a matter of minutes as tears streamed down her face.

**His First night without her**

He sat at the piano, his fingers gliding across the keys but not playing, something he did when he was thinking. Letting his hands fall down to his side he sat on the piano bench gripping his cane tightly lifting his self and finding himself in the kitchen.

Sipping a scotch he had poured himself he leaned against the counter taking the pressure off of his leg. Trying to relax he grabbed his pills from his pocket, popping the lid off carefully and tossing two of he white tablets into his mouth. He crushed them with his teeth, waiting for them to do their job.

He cursed under his breath for making her go, 'it was for the best', he thought, letting his head now rest against the counter top. Why was he such a failure, why couldn't he do anything right. He couldn't even take care of his own daughter without failing miserably.

Downing the rest of the scotch he poured himself another glass, watching his reflection as the liquid swished back and forth in the glass. He could feel his emotions getting the best of them, but he was Gregory House, and Gregory house did not cry. He swished the liquid in the glass once more and downed it in one long gulp, waiting for it all to take affect.

He made his way down the hall, leaning heavy on his cane with his leg throbbing like hell. That's what his life was he thought,' complete hell is what this is, especially without her.' "At least she had more problems than him." He mumbled to himself as he walked into her room looking it over. It was bare. Her bed was there and the sheets, she hadn't taken any of her pictures. He frowned.

She hadn't wanted to take a picture of him; this upset him for some reason, feeling as if maybe she didn't truly love him as a father.

He picked up a frame that held a picture of him, it was of him at work; 'she must have taken it while I wasn't looking', he thought and put it down. He picked up the second picture it was of her and her mother, they were like sister…beautiful. He then fingered the last picture before picking it up, there they were together; they looked happy. He smiled at the picture; Wilson had taken it without either of them knowing he was about to. It was quite funny; Kay's eyes were wide open and staring straight into the camera, her mouth was open slightly, as she was surprised. Her hair fell smoothly over her shoulders and she was sitting on top of House's desk.

He was there beside her sitting on the desk as well. He had turned to see what Wilson was yelling about, "Chase and Cameron are kissing!" He had yelled, and this caught both of their attention very quickly, and Wilson was rewarded with a few evil stares from Cameron and Chase, and an awesome photograph.  
Both their eyes stood out in the picture he thought, she did have some similarities to him, her eyes, and the shape of her face, except hers was more full, more baby like than his…and without the stubble.

As he memorized the picture he smiled and thought to himself, 'our personalities definitely match.'


End file.
